Too Much
by yo-digitty-yo-yo
Summary: Elena is upset that Stefan is trapped in the tomb.  Damon doesn't know how to feel or how to help, and he's had enough of her whining.  It's time to get drunk... D/E  *on hiatus*
1. Chapter 1

**Damon's POV**

She won't stop crying. She won't stop, and the shaking sobs wrack her delicate frame so violently they will break her apart any second. I've tried everything. Fuck, that's a lie, but at least I brought her here to the boarding house. I made her a fire in the grate, got her an ugly, ratty old afghan to warm her up… I even made a few _very_ funny comments, if I do say so myself, with no effect. Can't she see that I'm _trying _here? That maybe her tears hurt me too? Could she possibly think that she is the only one affected by this turn of events? My idiotically selfless little brother is trapped down in that musty, disgusting hole, doomed to starve and shrivel alongside the heartless bitch who made us wiener-cousins and laughed about it. Yeah, he's a pain in the ass sanctimonious little shit, but he's my brother… and he doesn't deserve that fate.

How could she think this doesn't bother me? Is she just like Katherine? Selfish enough to believe that her gasps and cries aren't more heavy weights piled on top of the load of shit I'm already carrying on my shoulders? Sure, my shoulders are strong as hell, but this crying might just be the straw that breaks my back. I don't want to leave her alone, but I'll be too tempted to smack her if I look at her. I'll stare into the fire instead…

"Damon! *sob* What are we going to do? *choke*"

Oh fuck me. This has been going on for almost an hour on a loop, like a bad song you can't get off the brain. _Oh Damon we have to help him! Oh Damon we can't just leave him there! Oh Damon what if she hurts him! Oh Damon what are we going to do!_ This stilted, amnesia tic diatribe of hers is more annoying than 1982, when every radio station played the fucking Safety Dance every other minute.

_We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind. Cause' your friend don't dance, and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine. _Hell. The Safety Dance is actually _less_ annoying than her pleading. At least it has a beat to it.

"Damon! We can't just leave him in there with Katherine!"

"Oh, that's it. That's IT Elena! SHUT. UP."

"What? Damon! How could you be so cruel to me! To your brother!"

"Fucking hell. I'm two seconds away from eating you for dinner, woman! Seriously, be quiet."

*sobs*

"I'm going to need anger management after this…"

"Damon –"

"Oopsie daisy! I'm gonna' have to stop you riiiight there. If you whine at me just one more time Elena, you'll regret it."

"I'm not _whining _Damon, I'm up-"

"Yes you are."

"Excuse me?"

"Whining. You're whining. Shut up."

"I am not!"

"Not whining or not shutting up? 'Cause one version of that statement is a blatant lie and the other version will make me leave your sorry skinny ass here all alone in this big house while I head to Sorority Row."

"You're an asshole."

"Tell me something I don't already know. Or better yet don't. I know! Let's play the quiet game. It'll be fun."

Elena was seething up at me from the couch. She was so angry that her tiny knuckles were white, twisting the already battered blanket spread over her into lumps of mangled, tatty yarn. But she kept her mouth shut, and that was a win in my book.

Bourbon sounded like a good idea. Bourbon and the quiet game would make this interminable night go by faster. Orange and red firelight danced and refracted across the cut crystal decanters on the sideboard, twinkling around the tabletop and walls like it was a mystical Booze Wonderland. I easily unstopped my favorite liquor and poured a very generous measure into a waiting Waterford glass.

"I'll take one of those." Elena's request echoed in the room as she spoke the same words Katherine had. An urge to kill shocked through me, but she isn't Katherine. _Not Katherine, not Katherine. Elena. She's Elena._

"Sure Miss Elena." I smoothly poured another glass of bourbon and turned to hand it to a soggy, puffy eyed human girl buried beneath a heap of unraveling 1800s crochet.

**2 Hours Later**

"Come on! You cheated!" Elena giggled with flushed pink cheeks.

"I certainly did not! I'm merely better at this game than you are, kitten."

Elena doubled over with laughter. "No, you're just fas-uh-faster than I am and you are cheating!"

"Nope-ity no. It isn't _my _fault that your reflexes are slower than mine! Even so, you're still winning. See?" I gestured down to the legal pad we had been using to keep score. So far, Elena had won three games of UNO and I had won two.

"I guess…" She swayed drunkenly on the pillow she was using as a floor cushion. The ugly afghan she'd been using as a life preserver/punching bag was abandoned on the couch in a sad-looking heap as we sat nearly side by side on the floor around the coffee table.

"And perhaps beside the point, but how would better reflexes help me win at this game?"

She shot me a sideways glare and went back to squinting at her cards. "I'm not sure, but you win at everything so I am sure you're cheating."

Hmm. Interesting. "You are winning you know, in case you forgot what I said a minute ago."

"I knowww! But you win at errything else Damon. S'not fair!" She giggled again and reached for her empty glass. "Dang it. Refill?"

I smirked at her and reached for the decanter of whiskey. "Here kitten. Let me get that for you." I filled her empty glass and she took a swallow.

"That's different from the last drink."

"We finished off the bourbon. It's whiskey. Do you like it?"

"Sure. S'ok. Burns different, if that makes sense. Thanks Damon."

"My pleasure. I'm just happy we're having fun finally."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course. Whether I answer or not is another thing entirely."

"Ass." She spoiled her insult with a smile. "Why are you calling me kitten?"

Oh, have I been doing that? I suppose I have. I quickly looked down and gather her cards, shuffling the deck for the next game and avoiding her chocolate gaze. But she keeps looking at me expectantly, waiting.

"Fine. Because you remind me of one. You think you're a big badass lion, and act like it. Like you can win any fight, like you're bigger than you are. But you're not. You might have sharp claws, but they're small and mostly harmless. You might feel scary sometimes, but your anger is actually adorable. Cute and angry about it… like a kitten who thinks it is a lion."

"That's condescending."

"Perhaps, but it's cute too. Admit it. It's cute and you like it."

"You're a jerk."

"But I'm a sexy jerk. See? We're compromising!"

"Why do I spend time with you again?"

"I know why, but I'm not telling."

"I'm not even going to ask…"

"No, but you want to know. Even though you already do know."

"Stop trying to fuck with my head Damon! Are you trying to say that I like this? That I like putting up with your asshole comments and your endless conceit?"

"For the record, you said it, not me."

"Oh god. This is a trap isn't it? I keep talking and you twist it around to what you want me to say!"

"Put the claws away, kitten. I'm not twisting anything and I'm not trapping you. Just saying that yes, you do like being around me and my endless _charm._ But it's not the real reason."

Elena took a big gulp of whiskey before scooting forward, getting in my face… inches away. I could smell the dried tears on her cheeks and hear her heartbeat hitch as she stared at me. "Ok, then what is the real reason, Damon? I'll bite."

"You don't bite, I bite. And it's simple. You are in love with me."

Elena's face contorted with fury and she exploded. "ASSHOLE! HOW DARE YOU!" She moved to punch my jaw, but her movements were sluggish with alcohol, and I grabbed her fist easily.

"I told you to never do that again." I leaned toward her threateningly, baring my teeth. I'll be damned if this _girl_ would hurt me ever again. I'll be damned if she even _thinks_ about it after this night. She doesn't move. She doesn't back down. Her small fist is still exerting pressure in my palm, as though she's still trying to strike me.

"I hate you."

"Always the consummate liar."

"I do hate you…"

"Sure."

"But…"

"But?"

"I can't take it anymore. I can't take you. You're too MUCH! You've got too much to you, too much personality, too much fire, too much _everything_. If I let myself go, you'll overwhelm me. You're right, ok! I am a kitten… a scared one."

Stunned, I released her fist which hovered for a second and then fell to her lap. Did she just say why she couldn't be with me? Why she denies loving me? Because I am… _too much? _I'm not too much! I am who I am, and that is why she needs me.

"What you might think is too much might be exactly the amount you need, Elena."

She had been looking down, examining the carpet before my words snapped her eyes up to mine. Something in them changed… softened and shined. Her hands rose up to touch the sides of my face and ghost gently across my temples, my cheeks, my lips, my neck.

"You must be right. You're always right." And then, slowly, she kissed me. The smooth warm silk of her lips felt like fire and tasted sweet like honey and liquor, and when they moved over me I felt a glow building in my chest. Joy. It was joy – complete and utter happiness. I caught her tongue on a sigh and sucked it into my mouth, caressing it and savoring the taste of her, while my fingers threaded through her heavy hair and crushed the strands with tight fists. I wasn't about to let her go.

Elena moaned as our tongues plunged in and out of each other's mouths, our lips molded together. I had to touch her, had to feel her everywhere. So I did.

A glorious hour full oh "oh god!"s, "fuck fuck fuck!"s,"AAAAahhhhhHHH!"s, and scores of back scratches later, Elena and I were panting and naked, tangled up on the carpet as a sweaty pile of limbs and ripped old afghan.

"I love you Damon."

"I told you so."

Even fucked nearly boneless, my little kitten still had the strength to smack my ass. Hard. "You don't have to be so smug about it."

I leaned over her and pushed down the ratty blanket, exposing her beautiful naked chest. "Yes I do", I sang as I nipped on a rosy pink peak, making her gasp. Her back arched off the carpet as I sucked.

"You could… ugh… at least say it back."

I released her hardening nipple from my lips with a pop. "I said it to you first."

"You did not!"

"I did. A few days ago in fact. I even shed a tear. It was all very prime-time drama romantic."

"I don't remember…" Her eyes glazed over, as though she was looking far away. "My necklace…"

"Caught me, did you?"

"You compelled me to forget it?"

"Yes."

I expected her to be angry, to ask questions… but she didn't. Instead, Elena stroked my face and looked deeply into my eyes. "Tell me again so I remember it this time."

How could I not give this woman everything I had to give? For the rest of my existence she would be mine, whether she liked it or not. "I love you, Elena." Her gorgeous face lit up, like a light had switched on under her skin, and she smiled brighter than the sun.

"Then love me some more Damon, because I'm not tired yet."

**A/N: **Fun, right? :D Tell me what you thought of this week's episode. I think I improved it a teeny bit, if you can overlook the unbeta'd-ness of it all! *wink*


	2. Chapter 2

**Too Much Ch 2**

**Damon's POV **

Dawn crept through the cracks in the heavy drapes shielding my bedroom like a white bright thief come to steal away my happiness. Elena's lovely face was pressed against my chest so tightly that I could see tiny faint creases had formed on her cheeks, and the heavy mantle of her flowing hair was draped over my arm, curling wildly across my pillow. Warm breath fanned over my skin with each exhale, and every time the old house creaked or groaned, my lover's arms tightened around my naked waist.

Heaven. If soulless creatures could deserve peace and joy, this would be mine. Stubborn, annoying, willful, beautiful, _good_… Elena.

A sliver of light, that white thief of my tranquility, was inching across her sleeping face minute by minute. I gazed at her and savored the moments, because as soon as that beam of light hit her eyes she would wake up… and there were two ways she would react.

One. She would kiss me, remember that she loved me, and then start hatching a hair-brained scheme to release Stefan from the tomb.

Two. She would be confused and distraught at being in bed with me, hit me and swear at me, and_ then_ hatch a hair-brained scheme to release Stefan from the tomb.

I was hoping for the first scenario…

Sure enough, as soon as that white light hit her eyelids, Elena woke up.

"Mmmm… you smell good. Good morning." She might be awake, but the girl still hadn't opened her eyes as she snuggled into my side. I was dreading her reaction. It had to be option two… it had to. God, I was just waiting for her to say my brother's name…

"Good morning", I whispered quietly, hoping that my voice wouldn't start an explosion of epic proportions. She can't know that she is with me and be so calm… she's going to call me "Stefan" any moment... and then I'll remember exactly why I should leave my _dear _brother in that tomb to rot.

"Mmmmmm… Damon."

Stefan! Of course she said… wait. _Damon?_ She… said my name?

Elena threw her leg over mine and lazily pushed her long hair off of her face. And then she smiled and pressed her lips to mine. "Why do you look like you've seen a ghost or something?"

"Oh. Oh, no reason beautiful."

"Good, because we have a lot to do today."

I hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. "We do?"

"Of course we do! What about Stefan?"

"What about him, kitten?"

"How are we getting him out of that tomb? How are we going to avoid Klaus? How am I going to explain this thing with us to him?"

"Thing? Don't tell me that I have to explain the birds and the bees to you, Elena, because I thought we had already passed that particular lesson."

To my very great surprise, she laughed. A lot. "Don't I know it! I'd be happy to learn that lesson again right now, if you're up to it."

Damn! Where has _this _Elena been hiding? Hold on, this can't be real, it has to be a trick. If Katherine has fooled me again, I swear to God…

"Uh… Damon? Why are you feeling for my pulse?"

"Just checking."

"It's still there, right? I'm not dead?"

"Yep, still thumping away."

"That's good news."

"Fucking fantastic news."

"Then quit being ridiculous and help me think of a plan. We can't just leave him there!"

"Your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine…"

"What?"

"Nothing."

**A/N: **Just a silly, teeny lil' continuation :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Too Much Ch 3**

**AN:** Aw crap. This is turning into a story, isn't it? Damn it brain, we don't have time for this! Lol

**Damon's POV**

Candles? Check. Cheesy tikki torches? Check. Weird herb mixture made by judgmental witch? Check. Ugly flannel shirt belonging to whiny vampire martyr? Check. Operation Save Little Salvatore was green for go. I walked into the ruined church, texting said judgmental witch for her ETA… when I heard something odd.

_Uh oh. Elena isn't going to like this…_

"Oh, oh Stefan! Oh yeah, baby! I missed you soooo much! Ugh! Uhhhhh!" From the porn-tastic moans coming from inside the tomb, it sounds like little brother has gone back to the dark side. _What to do, what to do._ Elena was walking almost ten seconds behind me, so that means I have about four seconds left to either stop her from entering the tomb, ergo shielding her delicate temperament from the _very _obvious noises her ex is making with that evil witch, or let the shit hit the fan.

"What the..?" Whoops. Four seconds are up, it seems. Shitty fan it is. Elena stopped midstride when the sex-noise reached her ears. She looked… frozen. And pissed. Really, reeeeeally pissed. The bundle of curse-breaking paraphernalia she'd been carrying down here to save that moaning moron clattered to the floor, and I mentally counted down the seconds to detonation. Three… two… one…

"WHAT THE FUCK STEPHAN! I can HEAR you! And to think I was trying to save your ass! It really doesn't seem like you need any fucking SAVING in there!" KaBOOM! Wow, that was _loud! _Elena's anger reverberated off the stone walls, echoing and magnifying her voice like she had screamed into a megaphone in a concert hall. I think I even saw some dust shake loose from the ceiling and sprinkle to the hard-packed ground. Pretty impressive, actually.

Quick as a naked bunny, Stefan sprinted into view around the corner of the stone corridor with a look of pure terror on his face. Or he tried to sprint as best as he could while yanking his pants up from around his ankles. I looked down at the floor for a moment and covered my mouth – it was all I could do to keep my blatant amusement from a seething Elena.

"Elena, I can explain!" Yay for little brother, he finally got his zipper up just as he reached the seal.

"Oh shove it Stefan! I don't want to hear it, you morally bereft bastard!"

"You're one to talk, little Gilbert." Katherine sauntered casually around the corner and smiled, not bothering at all to cover her nakedness. To her credit, it's not like all of us hadn't seen it before. Hell, when you think about it, Elena saw Katherine naked every single day. She strolled up as calmly as if this were a tea party back in 1864, and leaned against the door frame both of them were trapped behind.

"Elena, Elena. I knew you rode a high horse, but I didn't realize it was quite _that _high. Tsk tsk."

Stefan looked at Katherine, confused. "What are you on about, Kat?"

God save my brother from his own idiocy. _"Kat? KAT?_ What, you're using pet names for the bitch that killed you now, Stefan?" Elena yelled. I'd need a paint swatch to be sure, but I think her face was turning an odd shade of violet. Magenta, perhaps?

"How do you two put up with this harpy? She's annoying as hell. Shut it, human. Come on Steffy, just look at her. Doesn't she look just a teeny bit different than she did yesterday?"

Stefan's eyes shot from Katherine's smirk to Elena's scowl, and he shook his head. "No, she looks like she always does…" he trailed off.

"She does? Look a little harder, darling. Was she quite that _firey_ yesterday? Quite so _rosy_? I know that face. I've seen it many times before in the mirror."

_Crap. It was just like this witch to throw gasoline on the inferno…_

"Be quiet, you whorebeast", I growled. If she ruined my relationship with Elena before it even really got started I'd stake her myself, even if it meant I'd be trapped for eternity in that damn tomb with an _extremely _angry brother. If she brought this up now and hurts or embarrasses Elena, the girl will take it out on me.

"Or what, lover boy? You're not coming in here, even if you do want to kill me."

"Seriously Kat, what are you saying?" Stefan couldn't take his eyes off of Elena, who was looking at the floor to avoid his searching gaze. Finally she glanced up at me with something akin to pleading in her desperate face, like she was begging _me_ to stop this freight train. _Sorry, kitten._

"There. Look. Right there, Stefan! I'd know that expression anywhere. That is the face of a woman who has been _seriously_ fucked by Damon Salvatore. I would know." Katherine's finger was pointing straight at Elena, whose face changed color yet again. I think this new shade could be described by painters as "eggshell".

"No." Stefan shook his head and covered his eyes, backing away from the tomb's door.

"No?" The bitch was enjoying this immensely. "My poor lost boy! If the guilty pallor on her face isn't proof enough, then check out that hickey. Pretty sure that wasn't there yesterday, either."

Elena's eyes filled with horror and she covered her neck… but not before I got a good look at the pinkish purple bruise blooming on her pale skin, in the exact shape of my mouth. And by the snarl and flurry of movement to my left, I'm going to bet that my brother saw it too. Stefan's eyes filled with blood and the veins around his eyes bulged like black, bloated spider webs. His teeth elongated into sharp points as he roared furiously and clawed at the invisible barrier separating us.

"I told you that trusting Damon with her was your biggest mistake darling, but even I didn't know how fast he could work." Katherine laughed uproariously, like she'd just made the funniest joke in history. Elena was stricken with terror watching Stefan's fury, and she bolted from the tomb before I could grab her.

"Kitten!" I yelled after her.

"KITTEN? WHAT THE FUCK!" Oh boy, bro is pissed.

"Bye, my little doppelganger! So glad to see that we're not so different after all! It was truly a pleasure!" Her work done, the bitch strutted back into the depths of the tomb, giggling and waving over her shoulder.

"You. You! I trusted you Damon!"

"Now why would you go and do a stupid thing like that, brother?"

*Growls*

"Oh come on Stefan. So I took your girl. You were just having a grand old time with mine, so I don't see a problem here. It's only fair, when you think about it."

*GROWLS*

"Can't we all just get along?"

*Scratches and punches the barrier, screaming*

*Sigh* "I guess that's a no. I'll just be taking these pesky seal-breaking items the judgey little witch gave us and be on my way. Won't be needing those anymore, will we?" I grabbed Elena's forgotten bundle and walked towards the staircase of the crumbling, ruined church.

"Damon! If it takes me a thousand years to get out of here, I WILL kill you!"

_Oh, no he didn't. _I flashed back to the seal with vampire speed, leaned in as close to my livid brother as the curse would allow and let my own true monster face show.

"No you won't Stefan. And do you know why? She _loves _me, you selfish bastard. She _loves _me, and if you kill me she will never forgive you." Stefan's wild eyes widened as he pounded soundlessly against the barrier.

"And you think she's going to forgive YOU for this? You think that you can simply chase her home and she'll forgive you? We know Elena, Damon. She won't just throw herself into your arms!"

"_Back_ into my arms, Stefan. And maybe she won't today, and maybe she won't tomorrow, but the difference between you and I is that I can chase after her at all. Now go play along with her lesser, evil twin. I'm sure you'll be very happy starving together." And with that parting sentiment, I scooped up the bundle of witchy stuff and left the brother I had come to save exactly where he was.

I texted Bonnie as I dashed off into the forest, calling off the mission. It's time to find my kitten…


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** UGH!

***Spoiler Rant Alert***

**Don't read the AN you haven't seen tonight's episode and/or give a crap. **Damn it! I just knew that the Kat/Steffy hook up was going to be fake! Awesome call by the lovely **dazed-rose **about the dream thing! And here I was pinning my hopes on him totally fucking up. But no, he gets out and everything is hunky dory while Damon makes Rose (I just don't like this vamp whorebeast at all!) into his friend-with-benefits? Oh HELL no! I hope she dies from that stupid werewolf bite! *Bes evil* I really hope she does… *growl* Back to the Delena-tastic fanfic writing for me!

***End Spoiler Rant***

**Too Much Ch 4**

**Damon's POV**

I found my kitten in the local graveyard, weeping at her parent's grave just as she was back when I relied on the crow to find her. I approached her folded form soundlessly, but she somehow knew that I was there.

"I didn't think it would happen like that." Elena's eyes were streaming tears as she stared at the marble headstone.

"I was just asking them what they thought… about my choices, and about my heart."

I stood behind her stoically. I couldn't help her much with this, and it felt wrong to touch her. "Did they… um… speak to you?"

Elena stood up quickly and faced me. "Of course not, I'm not crazy Damon! The dead can't speak to anyone, no matter how much a person wishes they could."

"I beg to differ."

"Why, Damon? Look at this slab of stone! They're dead, and they won't be speaking to anyone ever again."

"I'm dead, and you're talking to me."

Elena looked stunned, as though the idea had never occurred to her. As though vampires were just regular people who never aged.

"You've never really thought about it, have you? You haven't realized that vampires are actually dead people… that I am a dead man, animated by the blood of the living."

"I suppose I hadn't… You walk and talk like regular people. You feel and love, but I always thought the only difference between us was that you were _better. _Faster, more cunning, immortal…"

"Don't get me wrong love, we are those things too."

"But you were human once. Warm-blooded human, and you're here now because you are… dead. An animated corpse… I've slept with dead men. Oh GOD! Does that make me a necrophiliac?"

"Yes and no, Elena. I may be dead by conventional standards, but I am by no means a corpse."

She hung her head. "I shouldn't be with you…. It's wrong."

"Why? Is it because I'm a dead man, or because you were with my dead brother first?"

"Don't do that, Damon. I've had enough shit for one day."

"Then does that mean that you will be reasonable? That I can hold you and carry you home without you being angry with me?" She looked a bit defeated, as though she had really reached the end of her rope and the ends were unraveling in her grasp.

"Yeah, I suppose it does."

I scooped Elena up bridal style and ran the human, who was soggy yet again, towards her home.

My heavy black boots echoed against the white porch steps leading up to her door in the dark, still night. She lifted her wet cheek from my damp designer tee with confusion. "What? Why are you taking me here?"

"I took you home, kitten. I thought that was what you wanted…?"

"No Damon. This… oh God, this is embarrassing to say… but I thought that after last night, and after today, that _home_ meant _your _home. That's where I want to be." She looked so sad and completely earnest that I jumped off the wood porch instantly and ran her to the boarding house without a single gloating comment.

I carefully kicked open the door of the boarding house and carried Elena into the void of dead silence that only big, old, empty buildings can boast. With a girl in my arms it was impossible to light a lamp, so it was a good thing that monsters like me can see just as well in the dark as they can in the day. I gently dropped her on a couch in the living room and went to retrieve some matches.

"It's dark, Damon. I can't see."

"It's called nighttime, Elena. I'm working on it, hold your horses." I found the matches beside the hearth, and lit two dozen candles spread around the cavernous room in an instant.

"Thanks", she whispered.

"It was my most chivalrous pleasure, fair maiden."

"Oh quit it, Romeo." She yet again ruined her weak admonishment with a watery smile, and motioned for me to join her on the couch. I quickly obliged.

"Got any more of that whiskey?"

"Sure do, but you should have asked before I sat down, kitten."

She smiled brightly, in that glowing way of hers. "Does that mean that I have to get it myself? Because I have had a rather trying day."

The look on Elena's face was too precious, and I was honestly concerned that she wasn't furious. "What sort of lover would I be if I were I to deny such a simple request?" I shot over to Booze Wonderland and poured us both a healthy measure of liquor.

_Oh shit. I'm SO totally becoming her bitch, aren't I? _No I wasn't! Fuck no. I handed Elena her crystal glass of whiskey a bit more abruptly then was called for. She didn't seem to notice, lost in her own sad world, and took a sip.

We passed several minutes in silence, simply staring at the dancing candle flames and hearing our own thoughts.

"Do you think he ever loved me at all?" Elena's whispered words were tentative, as though the walls had ears. I really didn't want to have this conversation with the woman that _I_ love.

"I don't know, Elena. Did you ever love _him_ at all?"

"I did… or I thought that I did. But now I sort of doubt myself."

_Intriguing_. "How so?"

Elena's feet poked out of that same old ratty afghan that she was huddled under, and rubbed my leg absently. "I was so alone after my parent's death, and then one day this guy shows up in my life and he's a total mystery. He was so attentive, like his world revolved around where I stood… and attention like that is hard to ignore."

_Stefan and his obsessions_. I gave a non-committal grunt and let her go on.

"… But then there was the realization that he's a vampire. Lapis rings, comets, necklaces, magic, tombs, curses, and a moonstone. And then there was Katherine, and the fact that I look _exactly _like her…"

I nodded and drained my glass. What she was saying wasn't music to my ears, because in her mind my brother and I were surely cut from the same cloth.

"So many lies. So much deception." Elena drained her glass as well and held it out for a refill. "And then there was you, Damon."

_Here we go. _I topped off the ranting girl's drink and prepared for the onslaught of ire. She took a sip and coughed softly, feeling the burn of the alcohol. She looked up from the glass and steadily held my eyes.

"You have never presented yourself to me as anything but exactly who you are. You've lied to me before, but never about how you felt or how you think. It was always to protect me, not to paint yourself as anything else. You've saved my life more times than I want to remember. I understand and know you more than anyone else in my life, and simply being near you makes me happier than I want to admit…"

I listened, stunned, while she took a sip and a breath.

"I thought that I loved Stefan, I truly did. But I feel like I've never really _met _him. He probably didn't mean to, but he built a façade for me. A mask. And when I was shown the truth I didn't recognize him at all."

A lonely tear fell down Elena's cheek as she looked at me. "Stop, kitten. You don't have to think about this –"

"Quit it. I was just getting to the point!"

"Fine, but please stop crying. I'm not a fan of crying women."

She glared at me, but kept talking.

"Amidst all of that bullshit, you were there. It took me a while to realize why my skin seemed to catch on fire whenever you showed up. It took even longer to know that what I felt for you. That the constant burn wasn't hate… that it was something else entirely. And here I am, Damon. In this house, on this couch, barely concerned about Stefan's imprisonment, and there isn't any other place on earth that I would rather be than here, with you."

I was long past _stunned_, and had moved on to _incredulous. _"I thought you were going to be so fucking pissed…"

"About what happened in the tomb?"

"Yes! Most definitely, yes! Don't mistake me, I am so pleased to be wrong in this instance, but I am surprised."

"It wasn't your fault, Damon. In fact, I don't think that situation was anyone's fault. It would have happened eventually. I just hate that Katherine instigated it."

_Holy shit!_ This calm and level-headed Elena was difficult to process. "So you aren't upset? You don't hate me for it?"

Elena took another sip of her drink and calmly placed the glass on the coffee table, never breaking the emotional bubble of our eye contact.

"Sure I'm upset, and I'm sorry for how I reacted to Stefan's actions down there. That was just residual anger, I think. It's never a good thing to hear your ex boyfriend fucking someone else, ya know?"

"I've never had any boyfriends, so I wouldn't know."

"Jerk."

"But I'm a sexy jerk. Remember?" I smirked at her and she blushed.

"You interrupted me again – "

"I apologize, dearest."

"I'd appreciate your silence more than your apologies. I need to finish a thought here!"

"You do realize that you probably could have finished it within the time you spent complaining?"

Elena looked like she wanted to claw me to death or throw something at me. But the surprises of the night weren't over yet, and instead of trying to kill me… uh, _more_... her little fingers grabbed my jaw with astounding strength.

"Listen to me, you arrogant asshole! I'll be dammed if you ruin this again!"

It was difficult to tamp down the natural instinct to snap her arm off. Holding me captive like that was a very threatening gesture, especially when she screamed in my face. Harmless kitten or not, it is unwise to manhandle a vampire, but her singular lovely scent quashed the urge. _Can't hurt Elena. Absolutely CANNOT hurt Elena…_

*Growls* " I suggest that you remove your hand, kitten. I don't want to bite it off."

The anger falls away from her features and her beautiful eyes well with moisture at the corners. "I'm sorry, Damon, but I can't let you go. I need to look at you, I can't help it."

A seemingly interminable silence settled across the scene. Crickets chirped and frogs croaked. Finally, with her hand still gripping my face, Elena spoke.

"I'm not angry with you, Damon. I couldn't be. It's damn near impossible. I love you, you arrogant man! I don't care if you're Stefan's brother. I don't care how many people you've killed, or why. I don't even care that you're dead! I was trying to tell you before, that from the second you entered my life I loved you, you giant jackass vampire."

No words. There were no words I could say to express how _happy _her slightly crazy rambling made me. Everything about my kitten was so beautiful, so wonderful.

So I kissed her. I kissed her over and over again while I tore off her clothes and threw the pieces around the living room. I devoured her whole as she melted into me, while she sang for me. Elena's melodic moans of pleasure were music to my ears.

Our problems could wait. Stefan could wait. In fact, I need to set an alert on my phone to remind me to tell him that _my kitten _didn't need a millennium to forgive me. She never blamed me to begin with.


	5. Chapter 5

**Too Much Ch 5**

**Damon's POV:**

"Could you get me a glass of water, please? I feel like I've swallowed sand after all that heavy breathing."

"Of course. That's the best reason to request a drink I've ever heard. In fact, I'll get a water fountain installed right in the side table if it means I can keep making you scream like that."

"I did not scream!" Elena huffed, blushing furiously.

"Hate to break it to you kitten, but there was a LOT of screaming going on. Don't be embarrassed love, it's a natural reaction to my skills."

"OH, you conceited ass!"

"But I'm a sexy, conceited ass. And to prove it to you, I'm not going to put on any pants so you can admire it as I walk away." I rose from the tangled disarray of sheets and slowly strutted out to the hall. I looked over my shoulder at her and wiggled my eyebrows, smiling. She was indeed checking out my ass, just like I knew she would be. "Caught ya'." Elena threw a pillow as I ducked behind the doorframe and made my naked, sexy way to the kitchen.

I filled up a glass of cold, clear water for my parched lover. Now for the hard part.

I hated myself for what I had to do, but I did it anyway. To save her. Always to save her. I crumbled a small white pill with my fingers and swirled the dust into her water with the best of intentions.

Five minutes was all it took for Elena to yawn and sag on the bed like a wet bag of sand. _Nightie night, kitten. God, I hope you forgive me for this… _I kissed her slack lips, dressed quickly, and sent off a text message to the enemy.

"Elena. Eeeelena?" I tried to jostle the girl awake, but my kitten looked to be in an irreversible sex coma. She was splayed out and naked, with a few new love bites coloring her porcelain skin, totally dead to the world.

"Perhaps the Petrova doppelganger doesn't find this situation of the utmost importance."

"No Elijah, I assure you that she does. She is just… worn out." And she's been given a sleeping pill normally used on horses, but that he didn't need to know that.

The menacing footman of the Originals paced around the bed my love was sleeping in, staring at her.

"Yes. I see that. You have usurped your brother's affections well, Salvatore. But I didn't expect anything less from you."

I had a part to play here, and I hoped that I could play it well.

"Thank you, Elijah. I assume that she will be delivered to Klaus shortly?"

"Indeed", he replied, with eyes that pieced me. "You love her, don't you? I can sense it."

_Damn._ Originals can compel other vampires, so I didn't even try to lie. He would discover the truth anyway.

"Yes. I love her."

"And yet you give her to me freely? I find that difficult to believe." The ancient vampire was still pacing and staring at my unconscious Elena, circling her like a shark that is waiting for the perfect angle to strike. He sank down beside her and leaned in as if to kiss her. It took all of my self control to lock my muscles and stop myself from charging at him, which would be a fatal mistake. Instead of kissing her, Elijah smelled her skin, her hair, and her throat. "What is this distinct odor on her?"

_Uh oh._ I threw on my best smirk. "Sweat? Satisfaction? Saliva? Unsuccessful-yet-enthusiastic dead vampire swimmers?"

He stood and smirked right back at me. "Aren't you so pleased with yourself?"

"I am rather pleased, yeah."

"But you're wrong. While the scent of your _conquest _is indeed there, I was referring to the ketamine coursing through her veins."

"Shit." _Oh, that didn't go how I'd hoped. _Elijah flashed over to me in an elegant blur of movement.

"What was the plot, Salvatore? To let me take her and lead you to Klaus? To destroy both him and I?"

I ran my fingers through my hair roughly. "Yeah, something like that."

"Not the best laid plan, I must say. Why did you drug her?"

"Because she wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut otherwise."

The elder vampire laughed. "Yes, she is quite feisty. I've never met a human who thought it could barter with me before. She's very unique."

"She is. Are you going to take her? Because I'm afraid that I've changed to Plan B."

"Pray tell, Damon. What does Plan B entail? I hope it's better than Plan A was."

"It is. I don't let you lay a finger on her and kill you now rather than later." I pressed a button on the stake-cannon (for lack of a better term for Alaric's silly contraption) hidden beneath my coat sleeve and launched a wooden dart at Elijah's heart. The projectile pierced his chest, and Elijah staggered and fell with a whoosh of breath. The tell-tale black web of dying veins spread across his face, and the Original closed his eyes and became completely still.

_Well, that was easy. _I'd killed this guy before with something much larger than that feeble stick, so I wasn't completely buying it. This whole plan was stupid and had to be scrapped, so I flashed over to my drugged up girl, wrapped her in a sheet, and ran for the door. My priority now was to get her out and safe, and find somewhere to hide. Stat.

I saw fingers twitch in my peripheral, but I still thought I could make it. _Wrong._ Elijah came back to death, so to speak, and grabbed my ankle. I fell face-first to the floor, but had the good sense to toss Elena's body backwards onto the bed before I crushed her. She bounced and mumbled, but stayed asleep despite everything. _Damn! Ketamine is some strong shit!_

"That's twice now, boy." Elijah growled, pulling the sliver of wood from his heart. "If we weren't on the same side I would have ended you already."

I scrambled back to my feet. "The same side? You want to kill the woman I love, so I'd hardly consider us to be on the same side." I brushed the dust off my leather Armani jacket and glared. Elijah seemed as nonplussed and regal as always, as though he hadn't just pulled something pointy out of his chest cavity.

"Actually I was a bit disappointed in you tonight, Damon. If you had given the doppelganger to me without protest I would have definitely killed you, but you've proven yourself useful once again."

"Can vampires become senile? You're talking nonsense, old man."

"Am I? Your Plan A and my Plan A were quite similar. Use the girl to draw out Klaus and kill him. My version just did not involve my own death… or veterinary pharmaceuticals. By the way, the chemical is diluting and she shall wake soon. If you don't want her to find out about this, I suggest that I leave and you go back to being her loving Lothario. "

Sure enough, Elena's lashes fluttered lazily.

"I want to destroy Klaus as much as you do." Elijah nodded toward Elena with the faint ghost of a smile. "Keep her safe. Keep her happy. I will contact you soon, and we can discuss Plan C." With that, the Original disappeared out the nearest open window.

"Damon?" Elena mumbled my name softly with her eyes still closed. _Shit! _I stripped off my clothes and launched myself into bed beside her. When she opened her lovely brown eyes, I had her cradled to my chest.

"Yes, my sleepy kitten?"

She smiled and sighed happily. "Sorry. How long was I out for?"

I brushed a wayward lock of shiny hair off of her face. "Only a little while. No need to apologize, beautiful." She hummed adorably and stretched.

"Ow! I think I pulled something. My side hurts."

_Oops! _That was probably the side she hit the bed with when I threw her. Damn firm mattress…

"Sorry, kitten. I didn't mean to be so rough with you."

"Mmmmm", she purred. "I don't mind. It was worth it."

It turned out to be _worth it_ a couple more times before my Elena was tired again. "Wow. I guess I do scream, don't I?"

"Told you so."

"Smug bastard."

"_Sexy _smug bastard."

"Fine!" She laughed and kissed my chest. "Hand me my water? My throat is dry again."

I grabbed the tainted glass on the side table. "I bet this is pretty stale, I'll get you a fresh one." I hopped out of bed like the sheets were on fire.

"I'm sure it's ok Damon. Come back to bed, I need you more than I need fresh water!" She was whining again, but it was so _damn endearing!_

"Look on the bright side, love. I'm being nice _and_ you get to ogle my awesome, naked butt some more."

My feisty kitten did check me out again as I made my way back to the kitchen, where I poured the water down the drain and grabbed a clean glass.

**Yo:** I'm loving Elijah for some reason! Even more so since I watched a repeat of True Blood tonight and recognized the actor as the same guy Sam shot during that weird jewel-thief flashback. I didn't like Sam's story line at all for season 3, but it is my favorite show and I love finding the same actors in random roles! Like, who else noticed that screaming beeyatch Ginger in a Geico commercial? Or Alcide "going gay together" on Scrubs? Priceless :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Too Much Ch 6**

**Damon's POV**

_**BUZZ! "I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" BUZZ! **_

Elena was in the shower the next morning when my cell phone rang on the dresser. I groaned and rose from the sheets lazily, whipped the device off its charger and sang, "Why hello, witch! How can I begrudgingly assist you this fine morning?"

"Damon!" The girl shrieked. "Why did you call off the attempt to break Stefan out of the tomb yesterday? I went to the church ruin and he was still trapped in there!" Bonnie's demanding tone was shrill enough to rival some of Elena's finer moments, and I while I had all the patience in the world for my kitten, I had no tolerance for any shit from the Bennet witch. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed.

"Because Elena and I decided it was best to leave him in there, and so help me if you hurt my eardrums again you'll pay for it." I growled into the receiver to emphasize my warning.

To my pleasant surprise, Bonnie's tone dropped several octaves immediately. "What do you mean? Elena didn't _want _Stefan to be released?"

"Do I need to switch my cell service or do you require a hearing aid? Where is that doofy Verizon asshole when you need him? Can you hear me _now? _NO, she doesn't want him to be released. He fucked up in a big way, and we're both positively chipper about letting his black heart shrivel away with that succubus." I paced around the room naked, hoping that my kitten would be feeling frisky again when she got out of the shower. Always be prepared to get it on, that's the boy scout motto… or at least it should be.

"Did he hurt her?" The witch's voice was creeping back up the annoyance-scale just as the shower shut off. I didn't have time for this bi-_uh_-witch. "Dust off your brain, Glinda. He obviously hurt her if she hasn't already clawed me to complete death for leaving Don Juan in that pit. He's totally persona non grata ATM, which means 'at the moment' in case you missed that."

"Oh crap! Damon! I need to tell Ele –"

I cut off the witch's diatribe just as my kitten came out of the bathroom draped in a scant white towel. "Whoopsies, gotta' go. Better things to do. You have a good day now."

"Wait! Damon-!" _Click. _I pressed the End Call icon just as my smiling, damp goddess cuddled up against me, trailed her dainty fingers up my arms, and pressed warm, light kisses across my chest.

"Who was that, baby?"

"Baby? You've never called me _baby _before, kitten."

"You hadn't called me kitten before a few days ago. I have license to use a pet name for you, too." She kept trailing her lips over my skin, and that made it _very _difficult to think.

"But… ugh… I'm _sooo _not a baby. There must be a more appropriate endearment than that." I loosened the tiny towel that was just barely concealing her gorgeous body and dropped the cloth to the wood floor. Elena kissed me briefly on the lips, then sank down to kiss down my stomach. _Oh, I don't give a shit what she calls me!_

Her lovely tongue licked along my hipbones as she smoldered up at me. "Well, if I'm a kitten then perhaps you are a tiger?"

Pretty sure my eyes had rolled back into my head. "Sure, sure. Tiger. Whatever." I mumbled, using all my restraint not to grab her head and push her _just a little bit _further. I'd agree to her calling me Princess Puffy Pants at the moment if she had suggested it, I was that far gone.

"Tiger it is, then." My kitten smirked up at me while her lips sought exactly what I wanted them to find.

Just as I reached the pouty Promised Land, several things happened at once. Elena's phone vibrated on the nightstand, dancing across the surface of the antique wood. Glass shattered somewhere in the boarding house, the noise crashing like a bull charging through a china store. The door to my bedroom burst open, banging so roughly that it cracked the wall, showering the room with splintered wood. And, though I am a big fan of biting, my kitten accidentally clamped her jaws down on an important part of me that should never, EVER be bitten.

"FUCK! SHIT! Ow ow ow!" I instinctually pushed her away and Elena fell to the floor, shocked. "Baby! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to –"

"Am I interrupting something?"

My dearly beloved brother stood in the doorway, seething. He looked much worse for wear, with disheveled, dirty clothes and tangled hair. Clearly the whorebeast had done a number on him since yesterday, but it was still surprising that one could become so nasty after such a short time. He's going to need to bathe in Purell before he's fit to mix with civilized people.

"Not at all, Stefan", I said smoothly, ignoring the healing chomp to my junk. "Elena and I were just enjoying each other, as happy couples do nowadays."

"I can see that, Damon. It is one thing to know about it and yet another thing entirely to witness it." Stefan stared down at Elena's naked form as she scrambled to her feet. I knew the angry look on her face, and I knew that one of us was about to get it. I still couldn't believe that these embarrassingly horrible situations wouldn't be taken out on me, so I didn't hope for it.

"Stefan, you need to leave." _Woohoo! _I took it as a plus for our relationship that she was trying to cover her naughty bits with her hands. My brother, however, didn't seem as convinced.

"What did he do to you, Elena? Did Damon compel you while you weren't wearing your necklace? Maybe he takes it off of you when you're sleeping! Maybe he's giving you GHB! Maybe he's forcing you! I can't help if I don't know what's wrong, Elena!"

I cringed a bit at the GHB comment because I _have _drugged her, but for a completely different reason, and the rest of his accusations were total bullshit. During his diatribe, Elena grabbed that teeny white towel and wrapped it around herself before continuing the conversation. She had modesty, and if any gesture separated Elena from Katherine, that one would.

"There's nothing wrong here, Stefan. We broke up. You moved on and I moved on. That's all there is to be said."

"But that", Stefan pointed menacingly at me, "is my _brother_ Elena! Why doesn't that bother you? I thought you were so different!"

_I'm going to stake him. Brother or not, aching family jewels or not, if he says one more word to make my kitten feel guilty I will stake him._

Elena looked close to tears as she heard his angry voice. Her fingers twisted tightly around the towel, as they had around the afghan nights ago. She was nearly breaking, but she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and faced her furious ex.

"I _know _what it's like to discover someone you once loved in a compromising situation, Stefan. I know it hurts. Damon may be your brother, but you can hardly hold that against me. Katherine is practically my twin. How do you think that made me feel?"

"Elena, she's not-!"

"Stop! Just stop. I feel sad for you Stefan, because I actually _love_ Damon, and you don't love Katherine. I'm sorry, but that's how it is… and you need to leave."

"But Elena! I-"

"The lady has asked you to leave twice now, brother." Impressed as I was with my love's strength, I wouldn't let this continue. I walked up behind her and laid my hands firmly on her rigid shoulders, presenting a united front. Stefan's whole demeanor sagged as though the weight of the world was upon him, and I almost felt bad. _Almost, but not quite._

"Yes. I apologize for disturbing you." Stefan walked out the door, but not before saying: "I pictured that she was you. I will always wish for your happiness, Elena, and if _he _makes you happy I will do my best to keep you both from harm." Finally, with a whoosh of stale air, he was gone.

My darling kitten was a nervous wreck after that ordeal. She was shaking and mumbling nonsense, spiraling down into glassy, catatonic state. "_Stefan… Klaus… broken… betray… Katarina… Bonnie… moonstone… Elijah… Tyler… Jeremy… Caroline… explosion… death…"_

"Shuuush, my kitten." I tucked Elena into my bed and fixed her a faintly-laced glass of water, which she chugged without comment. "Sleep, love." And after a moment, she did. I kissed her forehead gently, dressed, and jumped out the window into the night.

My cell rang again as I ran through the woods. _**BUZZ! "I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" BUZZ! **_

I grabbed the phone from a back pocket and snarled. "What, witch?"

"I was trying to tell you before that I released Stefan from the tomb on my own."

"Thanks, but I figured that one out."

"He showed up?"

"Sure did. Your best friend reaped the benefit or your undoubtedly fantastic magical prowess."

Judgey little Bennet took note of that statement. "He hurt her again?"

"She was damn near insane before I drugged her. She's sleeping now. I told you there was a reason we left that douchebag down there, didn't I?"

"I tried to call back earlier to warn-"

"Too little too late, Glinda. I have to deal with your mistake right about… now." I could smell another vampire nearby, and stopped dead in a bleak clearing in the forest.

"We have things to discuss, Damon." Stefan's voice issued mutely amidst the whisper of the tall trees.

"That we do." I nodded at my brother and turned my attention back to the phone call. "You did this, Bonnie. Sweet dreams." I hung up and prepared myself to face a scorned, defeated rival.


	7. Chapter 7

**Too Much Ch 7**

**Damon's POV**

Owls hooted, crickets chirped, and a thin layer of mist hovered over the damp forest floor of the moonlit clearing. My livid, vengeful brother stood thirty feet away, glowering at me as the gusting wind howled through the trees. Add in a tumble weed and a pair of pistols, because I just wandered into a creepy goth version of the OK Corral.

"Discuss away." I crossed my arms over my chest. _This should be entertaining._

"How was it?" Stefan whispered.

"How was what?" I replied innocently, despite knowing exactly what he meant.

"Fucking Elena."

"So crude. And here we all thought you were a model gentleman. But since you asked, yeah I've been quite enjoying it. She's a screamer, isn't she?"

"No, she was always very quiet. She rarely makes noise."

I choked. _Perhaps she was quiet for him! _I had to lean over and grab my stomach, I was laughing so hard at my brother's very obvious lack of sexual prowess.

"What the fuck are you laughing at?" If vampires could turn green, Stefan surely would have at that point.

I straightened up, but couldn't wipe the smile off my face. "Nothing, Ron Jeremy. Absolutely nothing. So tell me, was the witch stupid enough to let your dear _Kat _out of that shithole too, or does she have at least one conductor driving her brain train?"

"Katherine is still trapped in the tomb, where I intend to leave her indefinitely."

"Good news at last! I was beginning to think that this was becoming a sorta' shitty day."

Stefan stalked a few yards closer to me, shaking with emotion. "Wouldn't you say that it was _completely _shitty anyway?"

I adjusted my stance just in case dear bro tried anything really stupid, like trying to stake me with a mossy twig. "I got to fuck Elena, as you so callously put it, several times. So no, it's impossible to consider it a completely shitty day. In fact, it was quite enjoyable until you showed up. Totally rude to not knock, by the way."

_Yep, there's the twig. _Stefan growled and launched himself forward, aiming a fallen branch at my heart. I easily grabbed the termite-infested bit of crumbling timber, tossed it, and hoisted my snarling brother into the air by this throat.

"Really? All this sturdy wood around and you pick a mostly decomposed branch to stake me with? Honestly, Stefan, have some standards." I dropped baby bro on his ass in the foggy, soggy mulch.

Had I choked a human that hard, it would have been dead, but Stefan's crushed windpipe was healing and he scrambled back in the mist. Unfortunately, he could still talk.

"You think you've won, Damon? You think this was a game, and that's why you took her from me? You played your cards right to get what was mine, to hurt me. But it isn't a game! She's a person! Elena is a good, loving person, and I'm not going to let you destroy her because you want to beat me!" Stefan finally found his feet at the opposite edge of the clearing and stood.

If I felt comfortable enough to take my eyes off of him, I would have pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head. _The fool! _"I'm not playing a game. I derive no joy from 'beating' you... Ok, maybe a _little _joy, but that's beside the point." Stefan stared at me and I could see that he didn't believe my words a bit. I tried again. Speaking from my heart proved to be stilted and difficult.

"That girl… that wonderful human girl… I know that she is a person. At first, yes, I did want to take her from you just to spite you, but that changed. Elena is… too perfect to hurt, too precious to destroy or manipulate. She is beautiful and annoying, intelligent and stupid, loyal to a fault and conniving as a fox, and I love her, Stefan. Just as she is. I didn't take her from you to _beat_ you at all. In fact, it was _her _that took _me."_

I grabbed the pathetic branch that he had threatened me with earlier and flashed over to my brother, stopping inches away.

"Her nose crinkles up a little when she really laughs. Her lips tighten a bit when she's lying. She only flips her hair over her shoulder when she wants you to look at her, and her fingers fidget when she doesn't. She licks her lips when she wants to be kissed, and she sings in the shower. Badly. She kicks in her sleep, and she snores if she's had too much to drink. And when she tells you that she loves you, she glances away and smiles nervously, as if she's afraid that you don't feel the same way."

I raised the pointy, lame bit of wood to my chest and offered the blunt end to Stefan. Stefan had the good grace to look a shade uncertain as he held the makeshift stake against my heart.

"I don't know why someone so wonderful loves me, but she does", I said quietly. "Quite honestly, I'm not going to press my luck enough to ask."

"Someday you will destroy her!" Stefan growled.

"You can choose to kill me now, brother, or you can choose to believe that I cannot possibly hurt this woman." I would mock the tortured play of emotions flickering across his features if this wasn't such a serious situation. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It was like watching the stages of grief work themselves out in an instant. Unfortunately for me, the half-second of the anger phase made Stefan push a few splinters of wood into my chest, and I fell to my knees in the misty clearing.

"Ow! Come on dude, I get my junk bit AND have to bleed all over another Varvatos in one night? Uncool!"

Doubly unfortunate, a new character in this macabre play dashed into the clearing at that exact moment. With a branch shallowly lodged in my chest and blood pouring out of me like fucking Niagara Falls, Elena appeared around a bush, gasping and horrified.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Stefan, don't! DON'T KILL HIM!" Elena was frantic and running, which wasn't a good combination. Incapacitated as I was, I couldn't stop my kitten from tripping on the misty forest floor. A large root caught her foot and she tumbled to the ground.

"Elena!" I ripped the splinters from my nearly sealed wound and ran to her, with Stefan hot on my heels. She had the good sense to put clothes on before sprinting through the night at least, but my love had fallen on top of a nasty, jagged rock. I could smell the blood long before I reached her inert body.

"Kitten? Kitten! Come on, tell me that you're all right!" She didn't move or make a sound, which is something that would _never_ happen if she could help it. "Stefan! Help me lift her. I don't want to worsen any injuries by not supporting all of her limbs properly."

Brother was already helping me to shift her gently on her back, and we both reeled at the ugly, ragged wound that marred her stomach. _Damn it, kitten! Why did you have to do that!_

"Shit, Damon! I'm calling 911. That gash is severe." Stefan poked at his cell phone and made the call just as Elena opened her eyes.

"Love? Kitten? How do you feel?" I cradled her carefully in my arms.

She coughed, and an extra surge of blood spurted out of her open wound. "Not that great. I hate rocks."

I laughed feebly and smiled at her for lack of anything better to do. "Help is on the way, kitten. Why did you come here?"

"Phone."

"Yes, Stefan phoned an ambulance."

"No. My phone… you called me… heard you arguing with Stefan in the woods and followed… I couldn't let him hurt you."

_What? _I quickly checked the cell in my back pocket, and sure enough the bastard device displayed an ongoing call to Elena Gilbert… for twenty five minutes and counting.

"Damn it! I hate this thing! I am _so_ getting a droid tomorrow!" I threw my iPhone angrily into the mulch and kissed Elena's sweating forehead. To my surprise, she giggled.

"I'm happy that I heard what you said. Did you really mean it?"

Elena looked so pale and fragile, bleeding in my arms, so I couldn't be snarky. "Yes, I meant every word kitten."

Even in pain, her smile could light up the world. "Thought so, but I would have come after you anyway."

_Oh, this wonderful woman! _"I know."

"Ask me to marry you."

"Uh, pardon?"

"Do it quick. The paramedics are almost here and I want you to be there with me."

The ambulance had indeed parked on the nearest fire road, and pair of EMTs were clamoring through the woods toward the clearing with tote bags of supplies and a stretcher.

"I'll give you blood once they stitch you up. You will be out of the hospital in no time." I petted her hair.

"Awesome. Thanks. Now ask me before they get here!"

This wasn't the exact situation I had planned to propose to my future wife, but what the hell.

"Elena, you are my reason to continue being. Will you marry me?"

She smiled the secret smile that she had always worn for me since the first time I made her laugh, since the night she met me and hated my guts. Even bleeding and tired she gave that to me, while I offered myself to her.

"Yes." I had never heard a more wonderful word in my existence.

The EMTs reached the clearing, and quickly strapped Elena to the stretcher while binding her wound. They carried her carefully through the woods to the ambulance, and I climbed in behind her.

"Sir, I'm afraid that you can't ride in there unless you're immediate family." Technicians were attaching tubes and beeping machines to my Elena, and I wasn't about to leave her.

"I'm her fiancé."

The EMT nodded and closed the swinging doors with a metallic clank, but not before I saw Stefan's face, staring silently from the woods.

**Yo: This is absolutely the most poorly edited chapter so far, but it's 5am and I'm tired! *snores***


	8. Chapter 8

**Too Much Ch 8**

**Damon's POV:**

I fucking despise hospitals. They're even more terrible for undead people like me, when every scent is magnified. The choking haze of pungent medicine, trays of stale cereal, gobs of congealed jello, and oxidizing pools of rusty blood were almost painful scents to endure. Overall, it was the looming pall of death that repelled me. I may be dead as well, but human sickness wasn't at all my bag. The undead are drawn to the living for many reasons – everything from a quick fuck to an even quicker meal – but mostly because the healthy ones smell better than rotting cabbage and decomposition.

The small, sterile room echoed with the tinny beeps and muted whirrs of beige machinery. One of Elena's lungs had been bruised on that stupid stone, and they had her attached to an oxygen tank just in case she developed trouble breathing. After a brief round of surgery, her pale form was wheeled in with thirty stitches in her stomach. In normal circumstances she would have a pretty nasty scar after this, but normal injured women didn't have a vampire for a fiancé.

_Fiancé. _Wow. It's going to take a while for that to sink in…

"I very clearly asked you to keep the doppelganger safe, Damon. Safe and happy. She doesn't appear to be either." Elijah's slightly accented voice came from just over my shoulder. It wasn't surprising that I hadn't smelled his approach with all the other nasty shit in the air. I didn't even bother turning in my creaky metal chair to glance at him.

"She's asleep, so obviously she isn't river dancing at the moment… but she _is_ safe." I realized that I had been holding Elena's hand for the past few hours when I felt the ancient vampire's gaze land on where we were joined.

He nodded, somehow appeased. "Why haven't you given her blood?"

I sighed. "At first I didn't want to give her any in case her injuries were too severe. If Elena died with my blood in her, she'd be of no use to you, would she?" _Keep up the charade, Damon. Let him think it was for his benefit._

"I appreciate her not joining our ranks quite yet, but I know you're lying. What is the real reason?"

_!_ "If I made her a vampire, Elena would never forgive me. Stefan and I both knew it, so we had her brought here. If human medicine hadn't worked in time, I would have turned her no matter what… but I had to try, and it worked out. She is alive."

"Indeed. You were planning to spare her the scar though, surely?"

"Of course. I'll give her blood when she wakes up. The anesthesia and morphine are working their way out of her system."

"Very noble of you, Salvatore…" Elijah patted my shoulder almost kindly "… but noble is not good enough."

"No!"

In a blur of speed, the Original flashed around the hospital bed, bit his wrist, and pressed his bleeding flesh to Elena's slack mouth. Within a minute, my kitten moaned and sucked greedily on his wound. The flimsy gown she wore lifted in a thin line across her torso as though a zipper was being pulled up underneath. The surgical stitches were popping out of her skin.

"Това е достатъчно, скъпа", Elijah crooned as he gently pulled his wrist away and kissed Elena's forehead. _Oh HELL no! _I hadn't even realized that I had left the chair before I crashed into him, tackling the powerful vampire to the spotted laminate and scattering a cabinet full of medical equipment.

I grabbed a large pair of sharp scissors that had skidded to the floor beside us and pressed the open blades to Elijah's throat. "I don't know what you just said to her, but giving her _your _blood while I watched was quite fucking enough without that little display!"

The Orignal laughed. He fucking _laughed_! I shut that up with a bit of added pressure to the pointed blades. The asshole's blood oozed down his neck in thick rivulets, splashing to the floor. "You think that shit was _funny? _That is my future WIFE you just kissed, you doomed sack of shit!"

Elijah smiled again and waved an arm, brushing me off like a fly, dripping scissors and all. He stood and dusted off his coat smoothly while I smashed into yet another tower of medical equipment.

"First of all, I thought we had established the fact that you couldn't beat me? What was that, three times now? Secondly, I didn't kiss her because I have any romantic designs on Elena at all, so your macho bravado is completely unnecessary. And thirdly, I am very pleased that one such as you intends to marry her. That revelation takes weight off my mind."

"Oh really?" I roughly brushed a few cotton balls from my shirt and picked a hypodermic needle that had punctured its packaging, my designer jacket, and then my skin, from my arm. _Motherfucker! I'm going to have to clear out Sax to replace all the clothes that have been ruined these past few days! _

"And why, pray tell, would you be pleased about any of this?"

Elijah grinned as he used a tissue to wipe blood from his healed neck. "For the time being, that is for me to know and for you to… not." With that, he zoomed out of the hospital room.

"SON OF A B-!"

"Damon?" Elena's eyes opened and squinted groggily under the flood of florescent light. I was by her side in an instant, gently touching her cheek.

"Hi, sweetheart. You're ok?"

"Yeah." Elena stretched as far as the leads attached to her skin and veins would allow. "Do I really snore?"

I couldn't help my quiet laughter at the memory. "The first night we were together it sounded like a herd of elephants was trying to escape your throat."

She sighed and tugged on the oxygen tube that was strung around her ears. "And I kicked you?"

"Only a few times." In reality, Elena had sleep-kneed me in the thigh at least once an hour that night, mumbling undecipherable nonsense, then would wrap her limbs around me tightly like a leech and sigh my name. I simply swore, rubbed my leg, and then found it oddly endearing.

She blushed. "Shoot. I'm sorry, baby."

"No worries. But I thought we had agreed upon _tiger_ rather than _baby_…"

"I like baby better. If I called you tiger all the time I'd feel either like a little league coach or a porn star."

"I don't have a problem with the porn star thing, as long as all your films are with me." I might hate Elijah for giving her blood, but kitten did seem to be perfectly healthy, if a little loopy and tired. Pulling leads, lines, and tubes off of her, I grinned like a fool and gathered her small body in my arms.

"I see that smirk! In your twisted dreams, Romeo." She smiled at me and finally took a look around the room. "Um, why is everything broken in here?"

"Do you feel alright, really? I'm sure you want to go home."

"Nah uh! You deflect my questions all the time! Don't think I don't notice! I want an answer! Why does my hospital room look like a bomb went off in it? And what on earth are you mumbling?"

_We can dance if we want to, we've got all your life and mine. As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it, everything'll work out right!_

"Yeesh! Long story, kitten. Tell you later, kay?" I didn't give her a chance to respond before flying out the window and running with her into the night.

**Yo: **What Elijah said was Bulgarian (the plot thickens! lol). "Това е достатъчно, скъпа" is supposed to mean "That's enough, dearest" according to Google Translate. :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Too Much Ch 9**

**Elena's POV**

It took us mere minutes to reach the boarding house from the hospital. Damon carried me inside, which was a familiar experience for me lately, and I was gently lowered onto his plush comforter. Damon flashed away with his super-vampire speed through the house to check the locks and windows, and I was left for a while with only my thoughts for company.

I wasn't quite sure what compelled me to demand Damon to propose to me in that bleak, cold forest. I don't know why I asked, but I'm happy that I did. Damon could have easily lied to the paramedics… but he made it real… because I asked him to. It was love. Love and fear compelled both of us.

It certainly wasn't the pair of bright, auburn eyes glowing at me in the woods that inspired me to ask, or him to oblige me. No way.

As I stretched out in Damon's weirdly firm bed and yawned, I realized that I seemed to have been sleeping through an awful lot of important situations lately. From last night, when it took all of my strength to answer the apparent iPhone-ass-call from Damon, to tonight when I woke up to all that destruction… well, those seemed like things I would have normally awoken for immediately. I suppose I did have drugs in my body tonight, but why do I have a sneaking suspicion that there might have been a time before that where I missed something important as well?

_Nevermind._ Damon sauntered into the bedroom and pulled his shirt smoothly over his dark head. When presented with such a delectable view of all that flexing, hard muscle – not to mention that unbelievably hot, cocky smirk - my brain was practically useless. _YOW!_

"Hi baby", I whispered.

**Damon's POV**

The windows were sealed tight, the doors were locked, and there was little else I could do to ensure the safety of our little fort short of digging a moat. Even a moat would be a wasted effort as the enemy we faced could simply jump over it, even if said moat was filled with vervain-laced water and teeming with great white sharks complete with lasers strapped to their toothy heads.

I ran another patrol around the perimeter of the house while dialing Stefan on the slightly mud-crusted phone I had recovered from the dirt. I hadn't seen his mopey ass since that situation in forest, and studs like myself are in such demand that we need to multitask constantly. To my brief surprise, baby bro answered on the first ring.

"Damon. Elena is healed?"

"Of course, but it wasn't all my doing. Where are you?"

"I'm hunting. What do you mean that it wasn't all you?" Stefan's voice was worried and on edge. I heard the faint whimpering of a defeated doe through the speaker.

"Well between you, me and Bambi over there, I maaaay have neglected to mention that Elijah survived that giant coat rack I pinned him to the wall with…"

"DAMON! WHAT THE FUCK! How did that HAPPEN?" I knew he'd have a shit-fit, but I still didn't enjoy his whining. Not sure how most people _still _haven't realized how much I dislike whining…

"Oh, put a cork in that bottle Stefan. Would you like some cheese with that whine? As it turns out, Elijah isn't quite the boogeyman we thought he was…"

"Explain."

*Sigh* "I was _about _to numbnuts! Let a man speak his fucking peace! Elijah doesn't want to turn Elena in to Klaus. He gave her his blood, and treated her like… like she was _precious _to him. He spoke to her in a different language and then expressed his, uh, happiness that I'm protecting the doppelganger."

Stefan's anger waned. "You mean he's happy that _we_ are protecting her?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the pettiness. "All of that pertinent information and _that_ is what you latch on to? No, at the time Elijah was referring solely to _me_ and my intention to marry Elena." _The jelousy-bomb will drop in three…two… one…_

"You told an Original that gross LIE?" _Am I a wizard at predicting these explosions, or what? _I tugged up the collar of my jacket as I finished my scan of the dark trees. It's cold out here, and clearly my jilted brother was just getting started. "I tolerated that scene in the woods for Elena's sake! She was delusional with pain and you LIED to ease her mind and to go along in the ambulance, but that was IT! You have no intention of actually MARRYING her!" Stefan was twitching with anger and running home through the forest with vamp-speediness. I could hear the wind he generated whistling through the phone and could easily guess that he'd be all up in my grill in about fourty five seconds.

"Relax, Stefan-"

"RELAX? How can I relax?"

"It's simple. Let's start with some breathing exercises, shall we? In through the nose, out through the mouth. Try it with me-"

"Quit it, Damon! You just pissed of an ancient vampire, and I'm supposed to relax?"

I breathed in and out in an exaggerated fashion into the receiver. "Just try it. You're obviously too tense. IN *weeeeeee* and OUT *whoooosh*. IN *weeeeeee* and OUT *whoooosh*"

Just then, my panting little brother burst out of the trees bordering the property, scattering a few wet ferns and a family of rabbits. "Opps! Better go apologize to Thumper, Stefan, or you won't have anything to eat! You know, I read that the Native Americans respected their food sources and-"

Stefan snarled and snapped his phone shut theatrically, an inch from my face. "You're not funny, Damon."

I pressed the top button (no more ass-calls from me!) and tucked my own cell into my pants, smiling. "Really? Dang! You just dashed my dreams of becoming a stand-up comedian, brother. What is that phone you're using? Is that a freakin' RAZR? Maybe 2004 can call you on it to discuss how awesome Chingy is…"

"Shut up! Be serious for once!" Stefan growled, shoving his antique phone in a back pocket. I held up my hands in mock surrender.

"Um, am I supposed to shut up or speak seriously? That wasn't very clear." The only answer I got from my tortured baby bro was a sigh of exasperation coupled with a hand rubbing his eyes.

"Fine. Comedy hour is clearly over, you spoil sport. I wasn't lying to a fucking Original. I'm not that stupid, and I certainly didn't lie to Elena. That would be extra-super stupid."

Finally I had Stefan's attention, and he lowered the hand that had been worrying his eyeballs.

"I'd marry that insolent woman at the drop of a hat… and it seems like the hat has just hit the ground."

He looked shocked. "But-"

"No buts, Butthead." By the way Stefan's lips twitched, I knew he _almost_ wanted to laugh at that nostalgic comment. In the mid 1990s, my brother and I regularly got into semi-charged arguments about who was Butthead and who was Bevis. Whoever was the bigger asshole at the time got the title of Butthead... usually I won that title. I got the train back on the rails by gesturing towards the lone lit window in the boarding house, and to the slim shadow of a girl pacing in my bedroom.

"She made her choice, Stefan. All we can do now is protect her." I leveled him with my most sincere look. Stefan glared at me for a moment… and then his features relaxed. For the second time in as many days, I watched my brother's shoulders droop.

"You actually love Elena?" He whispered.

"I thought we had covered this. Yes. I do."

"Good. " Brother nodded with watery eyes. I looked away to give him some privacy for his pain.

"Enough with the water works, please. We still have Klaus to deal with if we're going to keep her alive."

"That we do." Thankfully, Stefan's eyes were dry when he looked up. "You trust Elijah?"

"Yep. He's had plenty of chances to take her by now, yet he hasn't. I believe he's on our side."

Stefan nodded firmly. "Let me know if anything new happens?"

"Sure, sure bro."

"Good. Then I'll go back to hunting before I retire." Stefan turned and walked briskly back towards the woods.

"It isn't sleepy-time yet, brother?" I called after him.

"Nope. I'll let you have a few hours before I crash the pad."

Once again, I almost felt sorry for the emo-guy. Pointing to a thick grouping of ferns, I returned, "I think Thumper went that way." My vegetarian vampire brother smiled half-heartedly and dashed into the darkness.

I went back inside, making sure that the deadbolt was locked firmly behind me, and flashed to my open bedroom door. I shrugged off my pierced jacket as I ran and dropped it in the hallway, then peeled off my black tee as I entered my candle-lit room. The expensive bit of cotton now smelled of decay and dirt, and was stained with blood. Not to mention the fact that it had gaping tears and splinters of wood embedded in the cloth. _My poor, destroyed Varvatos! You didn't deserve this miserable fate…_

I was brought up short by a tiny gasp. Elena was staring at me like the cat who was _about_ to eat the canary, and who was I - a _very accommodating_ canary - to deny her?

"Hi, baby." My delicious kitten purred.

"Hi yourself, beautiful. Wanna' get naked? I will if you will…" I sauntered toward the bed and popped open top button of my snug jeans. My lover tugged the unflattering hospital gown I'd snatched her in over her head, and spread her lithe and ready body out for me.

"I'll take that as a green light, kitten."

Thank god for vampire healing, and thank god for Thumper, because neither a torn stomach nor a listening brother could have kept me from fucking my Elena silly.

I kicked off my jeans, hopped on top of her…. and that is exactly what I did.

**Yo: **I hope you enjoyed the bit of Elena POV. Sorry that this took a few days lovelies! The holidays are catching up with me :).


	10. Chapter 10

**Too Much Ch 10**

**A/N: Hiya, darlings. Death in the fam has a way of shoving FF to the backburner for a bit. Plus, the new epis haven't exactly inspired me. The anticipated amount of Delena has been sorely lacking on my DVR! At least Rose is dead like I wanted (dead-er?)... but they had to make it all touching and shit *grumbles*. A bff of mine loved Rose and got all upset over scene. Then again, she hates Matt (who I find totally effing adorable) so different strokes for different folks! Lol**

**I warn ya, this is short. Sorry! The chapter is like 98% snark though, which I think is badass. Let's just call it an amusing segue. **

**:K - ****Fangy Yo Smile**

**Damon's POV:**

_**BUZZ! "Hit me baby one more time!" BUZZ!**_

_Ugh._ I awoke from a very happy sex coma to answer a call from one of Elena's vapid friends… _again. _

My room was chilly, and the thin cotton sheet protecting the naked bodies of both my love and myself was thin. I didn't mince words as I tugged the disheveled duvet off the floor up to cover us and pressed a little green icon on my phone. Rolling away as far as possible from Elena while still staying relatively warm, I hung off the edge of my bed and cupped a hand around the phone with the vague and unlikely hope of muffling the convo.

"What, Blondie?"

The baby vamp's cheery voice squeaked through my phone. "Hi Damon! How are you doing?"

I glanced over at Elena to check that she was still out, and grumbled. "I was doing quite well, wrapped around your hot, naked friend until you woke me up. Tell me what you want."

Caroline choked. "So you… you and Elena, huh?"

"What do you fucking want, Caroline? I was busy with… _not_ talking to you."

The girl shuffled around – I could almost hear her anxiety through the receiver. "So where's Stefan? He must be pretty upset-"

"CAROLINE! Focus! This is like conversing with a toddler afflicted with ADD who is buzzin' on coke! What do you want?" I had no intention of discussing the revelations of the love triangle I had won to this twit. I had to go, and I had to go _fast. _Elena's lashes were fluttering already and her lazy hands were groping around the vacant area of the bed I had previously occupied.

The girl sniffed indignantly. "You don't have to be rude."

"Apparently, I do. Now, what?"

"There's a kinda' scary guy here. Well he just left, but anyways-"

"Can I get the Cliff's Notes version of this?"

"- he said I have to help you and Stefan protect Elena, dick. Was pretty serious about it. He gave me a rock thingy. That's it. I'll let ya' go -"

_Scary guy? Rock thingy?_ "Wait up! Slow your roll, Britney. What exactly did this scary guy look like? And what exactly did he give you?"

"Ya' know something? I don't know what I ever saw in you. Oh right, I didn't have free will when we fu-"

"Can it, blondie", I snarled. "I've got a few fantastic pieces of wood that would look lovely with your outfit. Cherry stairwell spokes go well with Tilly's finest as chest pieces."

"How did you know what I'm wearing?" Caroline shrieked.

_OH god_. I rubbed my eyes and tried to not launch my phone into the fireplace. "SO not the point! Tweet the deets, or whatever it is you dumb bitches do nowadays."

"Fine! Guy calling himself Elijah gave me a moonstone and said I should hold on to it. Copacetic?"

_Wasn't expecting him to include Vampire Barbie in this debacle… what are you up to Elijah? _"He say anything else?"

"Nope." Caroline's snotty tone grated on me that much more when she popped the "P".

"Ok. Don't lose that stone. Copacetic, Tori Spelling?" I mocked and hung up before the girl had time to respond. It was like a drive-by-insult, via phone. I really quite enjoy modern technology and its ability to expand my repertoire of scathing sarcasm.

I hopped out of bed and paced naked in front of my windows, not giving a flying fuck that anyone outside could look up here and get quite the Salvatore Skin Show. Ok, so maybe I flexed a little and lengthened my gait a tad as I flashed from pane to pane, but honestly anyone looking would be far more concerned by the unnatural speed with which I was wearing a track in my Aubusson than my overall display of incredible hotness. Humans and their strange priorities…

Elijah giving Caroline the moonstone was a move I couldn't quite process. Either the stone_ was_ entirely useless, or the chick _wasn't_ entirely useless. It was anyone's call.

_**BUZZ! "Hit me baby one more time!" BUZZ!**_

I pressed the green button again, groaning. "For the love of-"

"For the record, I despise you. Asshole." _***click* **_

_I've been insult-drive-by'd back. Fair enough. _At least my drive-by had more flair, not to mention an awesome 90's pop-culture reference. All in all, I'd consider that a win. I hopped back into bed a smoothly as I had hopped out of it.

Elena's level of awareness became known to me when she rolled over to cuddle, and whispered: "Caroline?"

"Yep." I kissed the crown of her head as she nestled against my side, her lovely brown waves falling in sex tangles over my shoulder. Her lips pressed briefly to my chest, right over my heart.

"Nice ringtone. Very apropos."

"I thought so. I want to hit her _and _she looks like Britney Spears."

"She despises you." Elena yawned as her hand traveled lightly across my abs.

"Yep. Sure does."

"What's my ringtone?"

I smiled like crazy. She'd be so angry if she knew. "That's for me to know, and for you to -"

"Dot dot dot?"

"You read my mind. Rest now."

"I'll find out someday, you know…" *yawn*

My kitten giggled and got comfy again, then fell right back to sleep. I, however, lay awake for hours considering the implications of this unexpected turn of events… and whether or not I should change Elena's ringtone from its current setting… Nelly Furtado's version of _Maneater._


	11. Chapter 11

**Too Much Ch 11**

**A/N: Fluff, lovelies. It's complete and total fluff. Plotless. I'm in my happy place after watching the rerun of that shower tonight. You **_**so**_** know what I'm talkin' about. ;) Lol **

**Damon's POV:**

_**BUZZ! "She's a maneater, make you work hard, make you spend hard, make you give all of your love!" BUZZ!**_

I rolled over sometime later to groggily answer the phone on my bedside table. A quick sweep of my arm in the other direction yielded no Elena, just empty sheets. I didn't even realize she'd left! You think she'd at least wake me for a kiss, or a nice see-ya-later shag…

"Kitten?" I mumbled as I answered. "I didn't know you'd taken off –" Elena's chilly voice came from somewhere closer than through the invisible airwaves bouncing off a satellite in space.

"I didn't, _baby_." Nope, that voice was coming from the foot of my bed, and it sounded _waaay_ less than pleased. Elena launched a pillow at my head as hard as her little human girly arms could throw, which was harder than I expected. She's like the Hulk or something; making her angry gives her super human strength or some shit. The pillow slapped me in the face with a *_thwack*_. Oh goody. She'd chosen one of the heavier needlepoint throw pillows from the couch instead of the fluffy down ones we'd been sleeping on… one of the pair I'd come to refer to as "The Untrustworthy Pillows", since these particularly gaudy squares were stuffed full of feathers whose quills frequently poked through the fabric and into skin. And were possibly lined with rocks.

As I got a pointy quill to the eye, I realized that as far as pillows go this one was the closest thing possible to a weapon… while, you know, still being generally considered a pillow.

_Ow!_

"_Maneater? Seriously? You're SUCH a DICK!"_ Elena was fuming, looming over the bed like she'd grown and extra foot in height and wielding the Grim Reaper's scythe. The Grim Girlfriend's scythe, maybe? Whatever. I wasn't too pleased either, naked with an eye swelling shut and sporting _(oh, perfect!)_ a case of morning wood barely restrained by one little sheet. Let's face it, that's not exactly a position of power when faced with an argument.

Girl Hulk whipped around to grab the Untrustworthy Pillow's evil twin when I decided that I'd had enough. I flashed over to her with my handy vamp speed and pinned her deceptively tiny arms behind her back.

"I wouldn't do that again if I were you", I growled. Elena panted, her chest heaving with ire as I held her from behind. It was actually kind of hot. Don't get it twisted, I don't get off on hurting women… unless it's for like, dinner… or I'm on an uncontrollable killing spree… but generally I'm a pretty great guy in that regard. I'd never just punch a chick for the sick enjoyment of it… _shit, I'd really enjoy socking Caroline once or twice. _Crap, I'm talking myself out of my own damn disclaimer here! Wait, no, Caroline wouldn't count. She's a vampire, so she can take it. Plus she's a bitch, and bitches should be smacked around a bit for the sake of the population. I'm still a good guy.

By the time I finished the rambling internal debate concerning my own morality, Elena had stopped fighting and was just standing still in my hold. "Are we done here?" I asked.

"Think so." I loosened my arms. _Mistake._ Elena snatched the remaining pointy pillow and backhanded me with it. Good thing I heal quick, or else the nasty scratches the quills made across my cheeks would probably scar.

She looked pretty pleased with herself for a second or three as I held my face and moaned. "See? That's what you get for being a chauvinistic p- _Oh my God!"_

Elena shut down the victory gloats when I pulled my bloody hand away, exposing both my swollen eye and the red slashes gouged in my normally stunning face.

"Oh no! Oh no, no, no, no, no! Damon, I'm so sorry! Are you ok?" She dropped the pillow like it was a murder weapon and frantically fluttered her hands over my scratched and leaking visage. "Oh my GOD! What the fuck is in those pillows? Knives? They're PILLOWS for fuck's sake!"

"Untrustworthy ones…"

"Shit, SHIT! Your eye! Baby I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to – let me get some Bactine!" Elena rushed out of the room so quickly that I didn't have the chance to tell her we didn't have any Bactine. No first aid whatsoever. Didn't need it, didn't have it.

Hmmm. Actually, this was kinda' good. Much like that little incident on Christmas, I could play this shit up and make her forget entirely that she was mad at me! Genius, Salvatore. Pure fucking genius. If I could just ignore how much this stings while healing it'd be the perfect resolution to this stupid fight. _Ow._

An hour later, I was totally healed, but still holding an ice pack to my newly un-swollen eye and moaning like I was on death's doorstep. Elena was hovering like a sexy hummingbird, rushing back and forth from the kitchen to bring me new ice packs… a fresh glass of whiskey… a bag of AB negative… a deli turkey sandwich with melted cheese on sourdough... She'd stop every time and kiss the exposed half of my face, peppering my skin with her soft, sweet lips, apologize profusely, and run off to get me something else.

She even draped a blanket over my shoulders and turned on Sports Center for me.

_This. Fucking. RULES._

I was watching a recap of the Big Game, and since I didn't have a dog in that fight (or any bets), I was thoroughly enjoying it. I was also enjoying the frequent displays of my girl's rack when she bent over me with that deep V neck she was wearing today.

When Elena came back to retrieve the empty bowl that had once contained a delicious ice cream sundae (complete with hot fudge), she smiled like she had been since I was "injured" a few hours ago: 50% totally loving and 50% like she just ran over my new puppy with Caroline's stupid-ass Fiesta. She noticed that Sports Center had ended, flipped the channel to SyFy's _Being Human_ (a show which had caught my reluctant attention last week), and kissed my cheek again. But the angle with which she gave me that very chaste kiss afforded me a new view. Straight down her shirt. I noticed light blue lace in there for the first time today… and a pretty blue bow between her breasts… with a little silver V dangling down like a fuckhot lucky charm…

_Instant raging hard on._

I shifted my jeans around, but they were still much tighter than they'd been when I put them on. Hours of this shit had slowly ramped me up into literal pain. This had been the best day ever, but the problem was that I couldn't play the needy invalid if I threw her on the floor and had my way with her. She'd know I'd been faking. But with the rate my libido was charging at, I'd rather be scraped in the face a few dozen times than bear this aching case of blue balls. _Decisions, decisions._

Elena straightened up, and I might have whimpered a little at the loss of such a fantastic view…

_Pain. Actual, horrible pain. Can dicks cry? I think mine just did…_

"Baby? Are you hurting? What can I do? I'm so sorry!"

I think I an "eep" came out of my mouth, but I hoped not. My ears weren't working normally, so maybe I said a completely inappropriate and sexy remark instead. Elena rushed close enough to me to almost be sitting in my lap, then bent way over to check my temperature with her hand. It was absurd, since I was always the exact same temperature (cold), but her position let me look down her shirt again. I should send that little blue bow and its silver charm a Christmas card next year…

"Oh! I think I know the problem. The signs are all there." Suddenly Elena spread her legs, lowered herself down, then actually _was _sitting in my lap. Was it my imagination, or did she grind against me a little when she removed the ice pack from my face?

"Yeah. I think you might have a fever. The wounds are healed, but you could have gotten an infection…"

_OK! She's DEFINITELY grinding on my cock this time! Shit shit shit!_

"Do you know what I think will heal you, Damon?"

_Was that a question? Hearing sucks. That was definitely a question. Oh god she's so soft and warm…_

My kitten leaned over to lick my neck, kissing and biting softly, tasting my skin with her tongue, moaning… She rocked her hips harder against mine. The aching part of myself that wept for her was lined up perfectly, and the friction was as close to heaven as I could get with four layers of cotton in the way.

Elena thrust hard on top of me as her pouty lips kissed behind my ear and her teeth nipped my earlobe. _OH fuck! That was hot!_ She blew sexily into my ear and whispered: "I think… *lick* that you're not getting any ass until you change your fucking ringtone, you big faker!"

With that, she hopped off my lap and dashed towards the foyer, laughing like a crazy person. Stunned. I was stunned. I was going to chase her – I sure as _fuck _was going to chase her – but I took a moment to grab my phone before bounding off the couch like an animal in heat.

My options were limited in the small timeframe, but I managed to change Elena's ringtone from "Maneater" to Ke$ha's "Blah, Blah, Blah" before I caught up to her on the staircase. If she didn't like "_Make you g__ive all of your love" _then I doubt she'll appreciate _"Don't be a little bitch with your chit chat, just show me where your dick is at!"_

_Except for right now. _I caught my kitten easily as she sprinted into my room and tackled her to bed, fully intending to show her where my dick was at.

I did. And she liked it.

**Yo:** Spot the TB quote? Hehe. I'm getting so carried away by these ringtones! For some reason picking them is entertaining as hell to me! So far we've got Bonnie's (the Wicked Witch of the West), Caroline's (Britney's "Hit Me Baby One More Time"), and Elena's (Furtado's "Maneater" and now "Blah Blah Blah").

Stefan's is up next! What should Damon's ringtone for his emo bro be? Leave me your ideas for Steffykins! I have something in mind, but it's kinda' obscure so I needs your ideas!

Thanks as always, lovelies! :K – Fangy Yo Smile *hugs*


	12. Chapter 12

**Too Much Chapter 12**

**A/N: **Holy shit! You guys came up with the most hilarious ringtones for Stefan! *bows to the genius* Props and massive thanks go out to** LQTM** for rec'ing the "Emo Song"! Thanks, hon :) This is stupidly short and, again, mostly plotless, but I still like it :).

**Damon's POV:**

I stayed still for a while and feigned sleep so Elena could calm down. She'd been still a bit perturbed about the Maneater thing even after I sexed her up proper, but she'd fallen asleep easily enough. It was early afternoon when her breathing evened out and chest rose and fell in a regular rhythm, and another few minutes until her eyes began twitching around in REM.

I slipped out of bed as quickly and quietly as possible, even sneaking my warm Damon-scented pillow under Elena's arm to simulate my presence. I wasn't up to anything particularly nefarious at the moment, but I sure didn't want my kitten to wake up again and be angry.

My muscles ached as I stretched beside the bed. _Ouch! _My girl might have taken my ruse this morning with a smirky smile, but her antics in bed? Shit. The healing bruises on my arms, ribs, neck and ass were proof that angry-Elena wasn't entirely mollified, and the deep scratches trailing down my back stung like little ribbons of sunlight-sans-lapis.

I located a pile of dark denim in the heavily shaded bedroom and stepped into my rumpled designer jeans. Not bothering to search around for a shirt, I shot an assessing look at my sleeping girl, grabbed my cell, and crept silently out into the hall.

No, I wasn't being nefarious with my sneaking – I was hungry as _fuck! _Not for human food, and certainly not for sex (although that particular appetite was never completely satisfied when it came to my Elena)… I was totally fine on all those fronts.

Nope, I was desperately _thirsty. _I hadn't bitten my girl in a while, and as a human-eating-vamp I wasn't supplementing myself in the downtime with Bambi and Thumper; I'll leave that to Mr. EmoDoGood. The bag of AB neg yesterday was nourishment thoroughly depleted by healing my face and the following hours of exertion. Next destination: floor-fridge-full-o-stolen-blood-bank-contraband. A bag or two of O neg would satisfy me pretty well, not to mention heal those nasty bruises and scratches. _Wait, did I say nasty?_ I meant fiercely, painfully hot.

The basement was as dark, dank, damp and dungeon-y as ever. The dirt floor had seen better days. The fact that it was dirt wasn't improved by the blackish splotches of old dried blood that patterned the packed floor. For the life of me I could never quite understand why Stefan was always such a messy and wasteful eater. Surely turning into a monster hadn't robbed him of table manners, had it? Or, er, dirt manners.

Speak of the hair-gel devil …

_**BUZZ! "Girls keep breaking up with me and it's never any fun. They say they already have a pussy, they don't need another one! Stop my breathing and slit my throat, I must be emo! I look like I'm dead and dress like a homo, I must be emo!" BUZZ!**_

I let the call almost flip to voicemail, I loved that fucking song so much! _Ah, little bro! If you knew how much entertainment your general ridiculousness gives me you'd have staked me in my sleep decades ago!_

I answered at the last moment, chuckling.

"Why hello *heh* brother!"

"What the fuck are you so happy about Damon?" Stefan sounded very suspicious.

"Oh, nothing!" I sang cheerily as I opened the latch on the blood-fridge with a clink and picked out a bag of mortal-plasma.

"Seriously Damon, I've heard that laugh before. Anything that makes you _this _happy never bodes well for anyone– "

I chuckled again while using the bag's IV feed as a macabre straw. As the chilled yet tasty substance filled my mouth I couldn't help the quiet moan that escaped. The scratches and bruises that marred my skin knitted quickly back to marblesque perfection as each human platelet healed and filled in my inhuman flesh.

"Is Elena there?" Stefan all but growled. "If you hurt her, you miserable bastard, I still WILL destroy-"

"Can it, Nancy. Are your little sister's jeans chafing?"

"We don't have a sister, Damon."

"Is it the excessive hair products that are bugging you out then, Stef? Ya know, those things are calibrated for humans. The pH might not be so compatible with-"

"DAMON! Shut up, you asshole!" Steffy was definitely growling now. "What are you so happy about?"

I neatly sipped up the last bit of blood from the bag and tossed the empty red tinted plastic into a nearby bin. _See? Manners. They're not so difficult. _"What was I happy about? That's for me to know, and for you to-"

"Dot, dot, dot? Seriously dude, you need a new brush off line." Stefan sounded mightily pleased with himself for thwarting my snarky comeback.

"Fine. How about 'fuck you very much?'"

I could almost _hear _Stefan rolling his eyes. "I wanted to tell you that I went to see Kat, and she's convinced that Klaus is coming to Mystic Falls. Soon."

_Interesting. _"Now why would you visit the whorebeast, brother? And why would you think you can trust anything that she says? Every word with her sculpted at a precise angle – her angle. Surely you've figured that out in 160 years? Or maybe you don't quite understand the English language? I could order Rosetta Stone for you. No expense would be spared to make you a normal, functioning member of society."

Brother took a deep breath on the other side of the phone as I reached for a second bag of donated life. "I _don't_ trust her", he admitted quietly, "but I don't think the information is anything to ignore, either. With the Originals we need to keep all our bases covered."

"I agree. Anything else?"

"No, that's it. But I do want to know why you were laughing."

"Stefan?"

"Damon?"

"Fuck you very much." I hung up, shut the lid of the fridge, and exited the basement.

**Yo: **Watch the Key of Awesome Emo Vampire video because it's freakin' hilarious! It was my initial choice for Steffy's ring, but it didn't quite fit :). http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=1glNuQiE77E Trust me, you want to see it, dolls. *wink*


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** Eh. Ok, the fluff is taking a break while some plot shows up. It has to happen every once in a while! *Sniffles*

**Too Much Ch 13**

**Damon's POV:**

The bright afternoon had slunk silently into dusk during my daily dose of emo, courtesy of AT&T and my gloomy, angsty brother. Bubbles popped up through the gruesome straw of my second blood bag, and I watched the plastic pouch suck in upon itself as I slurped out the last drops of blood like a kid with a Capri Sun at recess.

The boarding house was as silent as a, for the lack of a less trite word, tomb. Stefan had obviously not returned after giving us some alone time, and Elena was equally obviously asleep. I treaded silently to the kitchen to dispose of the bag (manners, again), and quietly went about making an evening pot of coffee and a batch of pancakes for my girl. Sound carried so easily in this echoing cavern of a house, so I made sure to whip the batter with a plastic whisk, to use a batch of pre-ground beans, to take out the appropriate frying pan like a ninja… I was pleased with how quiet I could be. But… it was almost_ too_ quiet.

Momentarily ignoring the sizzling circles of batter, I flipped off the burner. The unnatural quiet grew quieter. I flashed over to the percolating coffee pot and yanked the plug out of the wall, and after a few _drip, drip, drops_ the machine fell silent, as well.

_Too quiet. Something is wrong._

I took a few deep breaths and concentrated on the enhanced spectrum of general sensory perception that was available to me. **Sight:** _Dusk. Exaggerated shadows, all objects thrown into precise, dark relief. Nothing out of place. _**Smell:** _Antique musk from the furniture, dander in the carpet from a cat circa 1830, fireplace ashes burned two weeks ago (cedar), indiscriminate human blood bags and decomposing banana peels in waste basket. _**Touch:** _Chill drafts originating from poorly fitted window panes in the main drawing room, kitchen walls exuding warmth lingering from recent exposure to sunlight. _**Taste: **_Acrid, strange and shocking, like putting one's tongue on a nine volt battery. _

**Hearing:**_ Nothing. Absolutely nothing._

I should have heard the constant creaks and groans of the boarding house as it settled into its foundation a bit as though hunkering down for another night. I should have heard the boards creak and the windows rattle and shift against the strong winds. I should have heard the wind, for that matter. That I couldn't hear those things unsettled me at my frozen stance in the kitchen… but something infinitely worse was niggling at the corner of my mind.

Silent. Silent. Whatever had caused this unnatural silence in the house shouldn't have silenced the steady thrum of a beating heart… I should be able to hear her -

HEART!

_OH SHIT!_

"ELENA!"

Motivated by sheer terror and desperation, I flashed back up to my room faster than any vampire could move. I burst through my door with such force that the newly-repaired bit of wood splintered off its hinges again.

"ELENA!" I screamed, vaulting over the debris towards the bed. It was empty - I had already noticed that the bed was empty, but maybe she was hiding in the sheets…?

I tore the linens off the bed hoping to God that she was there and safe… She wasn't.

"NO!" My knees gave way, and I slumped, heartbroken, to the antique carpet. Totally destroyed.

"I had to take her, Damon. You knew that I would, eventually."

A hand lightly stroked my hair. Elijah.

I batted his hand away with a snarl, wiped my tears as nonchalantly as possible, and stood strong before the Original. "No, actually. I didn't know that you would take Elena away. She was safe and happy, was she not?" I pleased myself with the composure I was able to present in this situation.

Elijah smiled sadly. "Yes, you have done your part well, Salvatore. You both have, you and your brother. My progeny has been protected from Klaus and has been very well loved."

_Progeny? _That is a road to travel at a later time. "If I… if _we_ have protected and loved Elena so well thus far, then why did you take her from me? Er, us?"

The Original smiled sadly again and paced slowly about my bedchamber, mulling over his thoughts. Finally he said, "Damon Salvatore, my progeny is in love with you. She loves your brother Stefan as well, but not in such an… intense manner. Her heart is mine, and her heart has chosen wisely for few could match her fire. However, as perfect of a match as you are I must save her from you, and from her heartache."

"I won't hurt her, Elijah! I could never – "

"But you will, Damon. I was very content with the idea of your marriage, but I learned some very disturbing information today." The elder paused as though to collect himself, or for emphasis. "Both you and your brother Stefan will die in the attempt to destroy Klaus. My witches have foreseen it. And while the loss of your brother will crack the foundations of Elena's very soul, the loss of YOU will drive her to insanity… and eventual suicide."

_Fuck. _"No. Even if that happens, she would never kill herself-"

"She would Damon, and she will. The bind is set. If you no longer exist, then neither does she. Tell me that you would go on if your Elena was finally dead."

"I…" I wanted to say that I could. I had survived after I thought Katherine was dead… I thought… I think… A black pall of despair overcame me at the mere thought that Elena could die while I lived.

"….No", I breathed. "No, I couldn't… I wouldn't live on if she was… gone." The admission felt like a monumental failure.

"Then you can understand why I took her." Elijah's boyish features rearranged into a grim mask of sheer pity. "Your path is set, Salvatore. Both you and Stefan will meet your final deaths to protect her, and I must distance her from you now, lest she ruin herself in return."

I felt my head nod without my conscious approval, and felt my arms wrap around my waist as if they could hold my guts inside my stomach.

"Can- " I choked as though I had swallowed gravel. "Ahem. If I am to die, may I at least say goodbye to her?" I sputtered and waited with my heart in my throat.

The Original looked at me steadily. "No, you cannot."

If the body was made buoyant by fragile balloons, and my heart was the last, tiny black bag of air left, those three words sent me to my final death as surely as any preordained stake would.

"Fine." I turned to stalk towards me empty, rumpled bed.

"Any last sentiments, Salvatore?"

I flopped unceremoniously onto the firm mattress that still smelled of the woman I loved and would never see again. The last balloon had popped, and I was a dark mass of dead, unyielding flesh.

"For her?" the Original pressed.

"Sure. Tell her… fuck you very much." I stood tall again as Elijah disappeared, unwilling to let him witness any further weakness. For hours I stood, unwilling to move a muscle lest any shift of stature splinter apart the brittle shell I existed in, trapped.

I died one hundred and forty odd years ago… but this was the first time in my demonic and unnatural existence that I actually felt _dead._

**Elena's POV:**

It's so dark and cold in here… wherever _here_ might be. One moment I heard Damon creep down the stairs and start banging pots and pans around, stopping after each ringing noise like a tentative marching band, and the next I was _here. _Truly, it had been adorable that my baby thought he was being so stealthy, and also a bit of an ego boost that I could still manage to make him think I was angry with him after his little stunt. After all of those orgasms! Geez, you'd think the noises I'd made would have clued him in that I was definitely thoroughly appeased, and then some! Sure, I had scratched him a little and grabbed his yummy butt a bit harder than usual, but there again he should have chalked that up to the uncontrollable reactions of a _very _happy woman. And I _was_ a very happy woman, giggling into my pillow as my man tried to quietly brew coffee, only to swear loudly after faint splash of hot water burned his skin. I could clearly make out the light slaps the pads of his feet made on the ceramic kitchen tile as he hopped around in pain and frustration, and the mental picture made me giggle even harder…

And then… _this. Where the fuck AM I? _

OK, time to go through my senses. They aren't anywhere near as sharp as a vampire's, but Damon had told me once about his process of assessing any danger that wasn't immediately obvious. First, breathe. I took five slow, deep breaths. In through the nose and out through the mouth. In and out, in and out, in and out, in and out. Second, use all senses. **Sight**_**:**__ Total, impenetrable blackness. No specks of light, no shadows or reflections with which to gauge the size or nature of the area._ **Smell**_**:**__ Dirt. Fresh dirt? Stone. Wet, cut stone… concrete? Musty, still air. Perhaps underground? _**Touch: **_Earthen floor, loose as though newly disturbed. Leaning against solid wall, rough but cleanly constructed. Definitely industrial concrete. _I rose as quietly as possible to my knees and ran my hands over the wall, meeting right angled corner after right angled corner. _Square room, about six feet by six feet. _I made to stand up and cursed loudly when my head hit something equally hard. _Ceiling approximately five feet high. _

Oh God. It's a box. I'm in a concrete box! I started to hyperventilate. _No, no! Don't lose it, Elena! Remember what Damon said. When in danger, your best weapon of survival is yourself. _I regained control of my breathing and focused. Back to scoping the situation.

_Solid concrete ceiling. No discernable doors or windows or other points of entry or exit. No objects or substances other than dirt and concrete. _I felt a bit silly opening my mouth as though it could somehow tell me something new about this tiny prison, but I did it anyway. **Taste: **_Air tastes like… dust. Rocks. _Feeling doubly silly, I raised my dirt-covered hand to my mouth and flicked my tongue briefly to my thumb… then again. _Weird. Dirt tastes like… salt? That is strange. _

I moved on and strained my ears as hard as I ever had in my life, searching for a scrape or a breath or a voice. **Hearing: **_Nothing. Absolutely nothing._ The silence was so thick that I snapped my fingers next to my ears to make sure I hadn't become deaf. The snaps were as clear as a bell in the oppressive silence, but the air still felt muffled… like my concrete box had been packed with weightless, invisible bales of cotton. The complete darkness coupled with the all-encompassing silence made me feel like I was not only trapped in a small, oddly salty prison, but also like that prison was buried deep below the surface of the earth, with dirt packed solidly on every side.

Small. Black. Suffocating.

_Damon. Please help me._

**Stefan's POV:**

Despite the calming hours I'd spent wandering in the peaceful woods surrounding Mystic Falls, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was very wrong. The sense of foreboding became more intense as I emerged from the black woods and into an old, abandoned mining facility situated squarely at the juncture of The Boondocks and The Middle of Nowhere. I remembered this place well. The empty, broken industrial buildings were surrounded with ratty, weed infested gravel. With the buffering wall of thick forest on all sides, this location had been a favorite of mine in my, er, _vampire youth_ to take, er, _people_ and have total privacy. Decades had passed since I had last set foot on the property of Fell Salt Mining Incorporated, but the tinny scent exuding from the exposed layers of earth were so familiar.

A trace of roses blew in the light wind, wafting above all the horrible scents of my dark, murderous past. Roses. It smelled like… Elena? She couldn't possibly be here, but the smell of her was unmistakable.

"Elena?" I shouted into the darkness. "Elena! Are you here?" Feeling a bit silly as my voice reverberated back to me across the empty expanse of gravel and rusted tin, I whipped out my cell to call my brother and ease my mind.

Damon's ring-back tone was pretty amusing, even though I knew it was a dig at me: *_**BUZZ! "I'll never be an emo vampire, setting tweenage loins on fire! I'll have no participation in this vampire pussification, so wake me up when the world grows a pair… of fangs…" BUZZ!***_

"Brother." Despite the ring-back, Damon sounded pretty emo himself… and when my brother was acting emo then people were about to die… or already had. Something was definitely wrong.

"Where is Elena?" I sniffed the air and caught a faint wisp of her scent again. She had been at the mine within the past… *sniff*…. Two or three hours, tops.

"Gone." The air shifted around the other line and I knew that Damon was pacing. Pacing is also not a good sign…

"Gone where?" Hunting. I began creeping around the property and hunting for her, following the traces of her scent in the spots where it was strongest. Whoever had taken her had paused at certain intervals, which made tracking the trail a breeze. But…

"Wait. If you knew she was taken, why aren't you going after her right now? Elena could be in danger, Damon." Not right, not right. *sniff sniff* Over by the refining towers…

I heard my brother nearly tear out his hair as he paced like a track-runner at the other end of the call. "Because! She was taken by Elijah, Stefan! Even if we could get her back, there are reasons why we should just leave her be. She will be better off… she won't kill herself."

"Kill herself-_what?_" *sniff sniff* I came upon a recently disturbed area of gravel where Elena's rosy scent was strongest and stared at the slightly raised bump marring the otherwise flat and well-travelled lot. "You said Elijah took her?"

"Yeah. He said it was to keep her from –"

A faint whimper echoed from beneath my feet and I didn't hear anything else my brother had to say. _Oh NO! _I sank my fingers into the gravel desperately, tearing and tossing rocks and soil away handful by handful. "Shut the fuck up! I'm at the old Fell salt mine, and I'm going to need some goddamn help! NOW!"

"Why Steffy, did you drop your diary?" Damon laughed weakly at his own lame joke while I hit the speakerphone button and tossed my beautiful new HTC to the ground so I could dig with both hands and still scream at my clueless brother.

"You fucking moron! Elena is BURIED ALIVE underneath the fucking salt mine! HELP ME!"

Damon must have finally gotten the memo, because a whoosh of air, a loud "OH MY FUCK" and a click followed. It wasn't even five minutes later until my brother was beside me, tearing with his hands to deepen the hole I had started. He worked like a demon, like every pebble and bit of dirt had paid him a grievous insult.

Deeper… deeper… deeper into the earth we dug. I can't speak for Damon, but I was praying like asking for a miracle from a higher power was going out of style. _Please, Lord just let her be alive. Please let her be in one piece. Please let us save her._

We'd dug low enough and expended enough energy that Damon and I were both shirtless and had to take turns flying out of the hole, using our pricey designer button-downs to ferry loads of dirt to the surface. During the course of those desperate hours, our only reward was an occasional faint sigh beneath our feet, our motivation a string of high-pitched, wordless cries.

Forty feet into the hole, sweating, dripping, and beyond dirty, I flew out with another batch of dirt cradled in my Armani. I tossed the soil in the general vicinity of the huge pile that had accumulated. When I jumped down into the pit, Damon wasn't digging. He had his ear pressed to the ground…

"Kitten?" _No response. _The silence didn't deter him, though. Or me. Four strong vampire hands ripped apart the dirt and sent it flying against the walls of the shaft with renewed vigor, and it was only a foot or so of earth later that our frantic efforts uncovered a layer of pale concrete.

Fifty feet now… fifty feet of dirt and rock…

With the most determined look I'd ever seen on my brother's face in nearly 200 years, he wound up and his fist punched the layer of concrete with the force of a freight train. _**BOOM! **_The ground we stood on crumbled and collapsed in fragments and choking clouds of dust. Damon and I flopped and fell through the air before hitting the solid floor with a twin pair of thuds.

_Ow, that hurt._ I shook off the discomfort quickly and sprang to my feet. Damon did the same a second or two before me.

First thing first, I had to assess the situation. We broke through a concrete floor buried approximately 56 feet below ground. The area is square… a box… Elena had been trapped in a concrete _box! ELENA! WHERE IS ELENA?_

Cowering in a pile in the corner of the small space, face down, was our girl. Damon got to her first, lifted and turned her limp body gently in his dirty arms.

"Da… Damon?" Elena choked. My brother's face, which had been scrunched up with terror, relaxed slightly as a tear made a thin trail of cleanliness down his dusty cheek. He kissed her forehead, transferring the drop of wetness to her equally disheveled face.

"I'm so sorry, kitten. I shouldn't have wasted time believing him, my love. He said taking you from me was for the best-"

Elena's eyes cleared, startled. "Him who?"

"Elijah", Damon replied, confused. "He said you would kill yourself if he didn't take you away-"

"KILL MYSELF? What have you been smoking that you would believe that?" Elena shoved Damon with all the strength she could muster in her prone position, laying across his lap. It wasn't much. She finally saw me standing silently beside the heap of rubble that had once been the ceiling of her tomb. "Stefan?" she whispered. Suddenly her bright brown eyes widened with some sort of revelation, and she struggled to get up.

"What? What is it Elena?" The girl desperately stumbled to her feet.

"I remember now! Elijah was tricking us! It's a trap! We have to GO!"

A terrifying rumble reverberated from the surface far above. A shower of dirt and rock fell into the ragged shaft. Damon and I had only a mere instant to jump on top of Elena and shield her body as all of the earth my brother and I had dug out of the hole was pushed back in with heavy machinery, burying us deep beneath the surface.

**Yo:** Whew, that was a long one! Ok, my #1 fear is being buried alive. #2 is spiders. It's a big divide though – I'd gladly tackle Aragog's nest if it meant not having to punch my way out of the lonely grave of Paula Shultz. Was anyone else in danger of fainting watching that Kill Bill vol. 2 scene? *shudders*

Don't worry, Elena and Damon are getting out of that fucking box if I have anything to say about it! And, obviously, I have _everything _to say about it. LOL! Steffy? Well, we'll just see ;).

*loves playing author* hehehe!

See that review button? Right down there… a little to the left… a little bit more… yeah, right there! Click it. You know you want to… ;P


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Lets hear from a baby vamp and a baby witch! Beware of the shortness. ;)**

**Too Much Ch 14**

**Caroline's POV:**

As I flopped down onto my bed for the night, I turned the small white stone over and over in my palm. Somehow I knew that the creepy guy who pressed it upon me was, like, totally old, but I couldn't figure out how or why I knew that. Damon had called the guy Elijah. It wasn't so weird that Damon knew the guy since he seemed to know everybody, but I still had a vibe… a not-good-vibe.

If this thing was important, then why would Creepy Guy give it to me? I didn't get it. I looked at the rock that I had mentally dubbed the "Coconut Jellybean" and tossed it into the drawer of my bedside table. I shut my windows and curtains, tugged my little blue nightie into place, and settled beneath the soft, thick covers of my bed. Sleep found me easily.

Hours later, I heard the echo of a crash… no, a deep disturbance of the ground. By the sensations, I could tell that whatever had happened was far, far away. Miles away. I drifted back to sleep, unconcerned… until a familiar voice called to me in my dream.

"_Caroline. Caroline. Help us Caroline."_

_What the-?_ I'd heard a similar compelling plea before. It was Damon. As much as I hated the man, I darted out of bed, hastily pulled on jeans and a tee, and sprinted towards his voice.

_Us. He said US._

**Bonnie's POV:**

Something didn't feel right. Not at all. I jolted awake from an unsettling dream that I couldn't quite remember. The swirling vision was more memory than conjured fiction. I rescued Stefan from the vault as I had in life, and Katherine snarled and clawed at the barrier when she was excluded from the release spell. Stefan gave me a genuine smile before flashing off into the woods. I gathered the remains of my curse-lifting materials as the female vampire growled at me. The scene shifted in a swirl of muted, dusty color.

Suddenly, there was even more dust – raining dirt – and screaming. The shrill timbre was hoarse… Elena? Tons and tons of earth were falling upon her! She was relatively safe, caged and shielded with… _a pair of bodies? _They were deep in the ground when the last bit of gravel fell, and a huge earthmover rolled over the hole, flattening the site and pushing the earth down even tighter.

Little trace was left of disturbance in the expanse of gravel and dirt, other than the tracks of machinery. A man… no, a vampire… smiled smugly at the sight. I didn't recognize the vampire, but I could feel, even through my dream, that he was bad.

There was simply no way that the dream could mean anything, but it had me frightened enough to call Elena. When that went to voicemail, I grew even more concerned… and called Damon.

**Damon's POV:**

_**BUZZ! "I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" BUZZ!**_

Shit! While I was impressed that AT&T somehow managed to retain service so deep underneath the ground, I had no way to answer Glinda's call. My iPhone was vibrating in the front pocket of my jeans, but I was arched in such a way that if I moved at all, mountains of dirt would fall onto Elena, which I just could NOT let happen.

"How are you fucking getting service down here?" Stefen grunted. His body was held in a similar position, balanced only on the balls of his feet and hands to keep the crushing weight of 56 feet of earth off of Elena.

"Dunno", I gritted back, spitting dirt out of my mouth. "I can't get to it, though."

"I can." Elena reached into the front pocket of my jeans at an awkward angle, accidentally brushing my junk.

Stefan saw my reaction. "COME ON DUDE! We're trapped in the ground and you got a BONER?"

I shifted my hand slightly to pinch his finger as hard as I could – yeah, not so manly, but I had to retaliate without totally interring the three of us. A fresh batch of dirt rained down even with that small movement. Stefan shifted his shoulders to punch me…

Elena had the phone out of my pocket. "STOP IT YOU COMPLETE IDIOTS!" We were properly chastised and locked back in to our protective positions.

"Bonnie! Bonnie?" Elena twisted into an even tighter ball in the tiny space beneath our chests. "I don't- Shut up! I can't listen to it, Bon, I don't have time! We're trapped! Damon, Stefan and I are buried about…" She looked at us for the information.

"60 feet", I supplied.

"About sixty feet underground at the…"

"Fell Salt Mine", Stefan grunted, straining under the weight of several tons of dirt.

"The old Fell Salt Mine. We're trapped. Please come."

"And get Caroline." I mumbled, spitting a small rock out of my mouth.

"And bring Caroline!" A series of beeping noises issued from the phone before it went black, eliminating the last bit of light we had. My brother and I could still see the confines of our crumbling tomb, but Elena could not.

She whimpered, terrified, and it was lucky that my will to keep her alive was stronger than my desire to hold my love in that moment. The earth trembled above our heads again, but Stefan and I held strong, our bodies a rigid cage to protect my Elena… _our _Elena.

"Damon?" she whispered. "Stefan?" A small trickle of dirt fell upon Elena when I tried to touch her face. She cried out and kneed my stomach in fright. I made a noise, then moved immediately back into position.

"I'm sorry!" She cried. Her tears seemed to echo in this small space.

"Don't, kitten", I said. "it's ok. We'll get out of here soon."

Elena closed her eyes and took a series of heavy, deep breaths while my brother and I shared a silent conversation. This was dire. Our arms shook with the strain of trying to keep the earth from crushing the woman we both love…

Help needed to arrive, and it needed to arrive _fast._

**Yo: So I was impressed yesterday when my iPhone, which gets spotty service at best in my own home, somehow worked perfectly in the cramped corridors of the Space Mountain line, a few stories underground on the boats of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, and in the Doom Buggies of the Haunted Mansion (also underground). Go figure… **


	15. Chapter 15

**Too Much Ch 15**

**Bonnie's POV:**

I was already half dressed by the time the call to Damon's cell dropped with a series of ominous beeps. I tried calling back a few times as I searched around in the dark for my purple Chucks, but had zero success. I could only fervently hope that service had died, and not my dear friend. Just the thought of Elena being underneath a mountain of crumbling dirt as she had been in my oddly prophetic dream was enough to have me sweating and stumbling with fear. Caroline! I need to call Caro-

_***BUZZ* I'm beautiful in my way 'cause God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way! *BUZZ***_

Care's voice was frantic when I answered her call. "BON! I have a really bad feeling –"

"Me too. Where are you?"

"Running. Damon sorta' mentally called me and I'm running toward his, um, _voice._ Something is wrong!"

Huh. Guess he could still compel Care a bit… a thought for another time. "Yeah, I had a dream and call-called Damon. Can you swing by here? I know where they are. They need us asap and I can't drive as fast as you can run."

"Of course!" I heard a swirl of gravel as Caroline spun around at the other end of the line, obviously changing direction. The air swishing around the receiver was almost deafening, and I knew I made the right decision of having her take me there rather than drive. The call disconnected as the scarping sound of feet skidding to a stop echoed in the still night below my window. I finished lacing up my shoes and threw the window open. Care was holding her hands out two stories below.

"Jump! I'll catch you." It was weird, being as my little blond friend was about the same size as me, but I knew that she could… so I grabbed Gran's grimoire, my purse, and my cell and hopped confidently off of my window sill into thin air. My back and knees hit cold flesh sooner than anticipated – Caroline had jumped up into the air to grab me in her haste.

Vampire-Caroline was much stronger than even I had anticipated. She smoothly flipped me around so that I was riding piggy back before her feet even touched the ground, and then took off like a shot into the trees.

"Where am I going?" She asked over her shoulder, dodging tree trunks and ferns, hopping over creeks. "I know the general direction, but I'm not sure where… ?"

I closed my eyes to distract myself from the scary journey. "Fell Salt Mine. They're buried. There should be, like, a backhoe or something parked nearby."

"Kay." I opened my eyes at an inopportune moment – just as we came to a small opening in the forest between a huge fallen tree and an overhanging branch. A small yell escaped my throat as my friend held my legs tightly to her waist and did a sort of sideways cork-screw flip through to the other side, our bodies missing impact by mere inches. Her laughter echoed in the quiet night.

"This is so freaking fun! You're ok, right?" Caroline didn't slow even a bit after that bout of acrobatics, but she did seem a little concerned at my shriek. "Yeah", I tried to calm my breathing and pounding heart. "Yeah, I'm ok Care. Let's just get there."

Fast or not, I mentally vowed that next time I would drive to a catastrophe… the scariest part of that thought was that I was positive that there _would_ be a next time.

**Damon's POV:**

Elena's frightened breaths were growing shallow as the minutes ticked by, as though her lungs weren't working well enough… or as though there wasn't enough oxygen left in the tiny space to sustain a living being for much longer. Arms shaking, Stefan and I had another silent conversation, our sudden shared understanding, regret, and resolve passing between our shining eyes in the pitch blackness. We stopped breathing, saving the air for Elena, and bit our wrists. She was going to balk at the idea of possibly becoming a vampire, but the truth was that with two sources she would get at least some blood in her no matter how hard she fought. If things took an even bigger turn for the worse she would still be somewhat saved…

I held my dripping wrist over Elena's gasping mouth, and as anticipated, she fought. "What the hell are you doing?" Her brown eyes rolled with fear and disgust, sightless in the dark, and her head rolled away only to be met with another dripping faucet of blood.

"HEY!" She spit out most of Stefan's blood and turned back my way again, and I held my open vein to her sputtering lips. "WHAT THE FUCK! What are you two doing- *gurgle*" Her head thrashed away again, only to have her lips pressed to Stefan's wound. Finally, with another glance, we both held our wrists to her mouth, effectively stopping her movements… but even though her head was immobilized, my furious little kitten could still kick.

*GRUNT* "OW!"

*CRUNCH* "FUCKING HELL!"

Stefan and I collapsed, instinctually grabbing our nuts that had been kneed by a human who seemed bound and determined to die down here. Or maybe she just hated being looked after. It was irrelevant anyway, because, though she had effectively showed off her girl power, knocking us both down caused our protective barrier to break.

A deep rumble signaled the shifting of the earth above us, and the vibrations seemed to bring back her senses. Unfortunately, it was too late to do anything about it. Elena screamed bloody murder and tucked herself under my chest at the last second. I cradled her as securely as I could before the weight of world literally rained down upon us. I looked to my right and locked eyes with my brother as curtain of dirt fell in a black sheet through the cracks of the broken concrete above.

"STEFAN!" I reached out my arm to grab him and pull him over to our more stable location when a block of jagged concrete hit the floor of our little tomb. I had snatched my hand back in time, but Stefan was trapped behind that wall of debis, cut off completely. The rocky partition served as a bulkhead, with all the loose, heavy dirt channeling on top of Stefan rather than our relatively sheltered side of the broken concrete box, but I had to – HAD TO – get Stefan out of there. If things were bad for us on this side, they were a hundred times worse on that side.

Holding my body ridged for Elena, I managed to punch the concrete into rubble. Dirt poured into our body-sized spot like a flood, but I still searched around in the space beyond for my brother.

"Come on Stefan! Help me the fuck out here and grab my hand!"

I dug through the expanse of dirt some more, and finally felt Stefan's fingers curl around my wrist. I sighed in relative relief and pulled.

"Let's get you out of there, bro." I continued pulling… and he yelled out in protest. "Wait! Wait Damon. Don't. If you drag me over there, this thing will fill up and Elena will suffocate!" Stefan was right, so I released his hand and waited for rescue… but I could smell the blood gushing out of my crushed brother as I shielded Elena.

Without warning, a large chuck of rock fell and roughly knocked Elena on a tiny portion of her that my body wasn't covering… her forehead.

_Plunk! _She was out like a light.

**Caroline's POV:**

With Bonnie clutching onto my ribcage hard enough to warrant the Jaws of Life to pry her loose, I skidded smoothly to a stop at the boundary of the old Fell Salt Mine. My back-barnacle was about to speak, but I held up a finger to silence her as I listened for the slightest noises below the vast expanse of gravel.

'_Caroline. Caroline.' _The voice was mental rather than physical, but I knew the right direction despite that fact. Bonnie gasped again as I sprinted unexpectedly at full speed towards a big piece of equipment.

"This is the place", she and I said simultaneously, and I dropped Bonnie on her feet before rushing over to the giant machine. "The engine is still hot." I turned to see my friend on her knees flipping frantically through an old, thick book. Despite the heavy track marks that had pressed the ground back into a semi-natural state, the patch was obviously recently disturbed. Straining my ears again, I jumped when I detected a few masculine grunts of strain and a muffled shriek of fear.

"HERE! How deep are they?" I already had my hands in the ground, easily dislodging handfuls of loosened soil and rock.

"Damon said 60 feet", Bonnie said still frantically flipping through tattered pages. I looked at the smallish pile of dirt I had dug away and freaked the fuck out.

"60? How'd they get down that far? Elena probably doesn't have much air left! How am I supposed to-" Bonnie cut me off as her fingers finally settled on a page in what I now assumed to be a spell book.

"I got this", she said forcefully. "Get in the backhoe and figure out how to use it, Care. I'm going to need the help." Without a word, I flashed up into the strange cockpit of the yellow machine and tried to learn the controls to the best of my ability while Bonnie started muttering strange words quieter than the most desperate of whispers…

_**Effrenus effodio! **__**Beatus matris , tribuo mihi ops levo orbis terrarum , lego mons montis in meus telum quod traho lemma absentis. Effrenus effodio!**_

I twisted a small silver key that had been conveniently left in the machine's ignition, and the huge yellow monster roared to life. It took a surprisingly small moment to push and pull the levers in the correct fashion, and the great arm was swinging into to position, its great clawed bucket reaching out and tearing into the soft ground with a whine of metal. I quickly found a rhythm. Right lever: _push_ *dig* and _pull_ *scoop*. Left lever: _push_ *swing right and dump* and _pull_ *swing back left*. With the aid of my vampire reflexes and heavy equipment, the hole in the ground was twenty five feet deep within a couple of minutes.

… But a couple of minutes were not quick enough. I worked even faster with Bonnie's chanting as a cadence, worrying like a crazy person. Er, a crazier person. With my focus so totally commanded, it took several screams from my witchy BFF before I noticed that she was trying to flag me, frantically.

"CARE! JUMP!" The ground was rumbling like there was an earthquake brewing, a big one. Bonnie was kneeling low in the dirt, her thin arms were stretched out before her, palms up, and her eyes were glazed with concentration. The tremors of the power she had evidently conjured shook the entire backhoe, and I vaulted out of the dirty yellow open frame that served as a door without another thought. I landed on the rusted tin roof of the old refining factory just in case the entire surface of the earth was about to crack open.

An eerie wind swirled around Bonnie as her expressionless eyes settled upon me. Somehow I knew she had been waiting for me to be a safe distance away. The small, skinny human nodded towards me, closed her eyes, and stood up.

Dust and gravel burst from the hole the backhoe had dug and formed into… _were those giant arms?_ Fifty feet above us, clouds of rock and soil twirled and solidified into enormous replicas of Bonnie's hands and forearms, and they moved exactly how she did. With more whispered chants, she spread her arms wide and plunged them towards the ground where she stood. While Bonnie's fingers sank into mere air, the rock phantom fingers she had conjured drove into the gravel surrounding the dig site. It was a truly imposing sight.

When her human arms rose again, the phantoms were holding at least one thousand square feet of earth which she tossed to the side with a casual flick of her wrists. The second scoop into the ground was more forceful, and the conjured arms knocked the giant backhoe away with such force that it rolled over and over again across the gravel, smashing it into an ugly mass of twisted metal. Bonnie was more careful with this larger load, and turned to deposit it gently at a safe distance by the edge of the forest… and then she collapsed.

I zoomed over to save my friend from falling into the wide, deep, ragged hole, and dragged her exhausted body to a safe distance. "Bon! Bon! Are you ok?" The phantom dirt-arms exploded into clouds of fluttering dust when I laid her on the nearest patch of grass available.

"Yeah-" she gasped.

"That was so AWESOME!" I couldn't contain my excitement, now that I knew she was ok. Bonnie almost smiled, but then she shook her head forcefully and opened her eyes.

"Go GET THEM!"

"OH! Right-" I ran back to the hole and slipped and slid down to the bottom. Yells and screams were coming from not too far below, and it took only a second or two before I got to something concrete. It almost looked like… the corner of a box? I punched through it, and the space beyond it was empty and black. "Elena? Damon? Stefan? ELENA?"

A series of shuffles and grunts echoed below, and the sound of something dragging. The ground gave way a bit again on the far side of the hole, and I could tell that the concrete wasn't solid everywhere – I had just picked the spot where it had been intact. Out of the dark hole I had punched came the top of Elena's head. I screamed with relief and grabbed her shoulders to help pull my friend out.

"Elena!" I smiled and sobbed as I felt another pair of hands push her into my arms. Elena didn't say anything, and she wasn't moving…

"You got her?" _Damon. _"Yeah I have her."

Damon's face was caked with dirt and shiny with… fresh blood? "Good. Get her the fuck out of here." I noticed that Elena was unconscious or something, so I quickly picked her up to run her up the crumbling slope to the surface. Damon disappeared again into the darkness. "Wait! What about you?"

"Stefan is stuck. I have to get him free. Just get her out and come back, okay Britney?" I heard more clawing and digging and grunting. Without another word, I flew out of the mayhem and carefully set Elena's inert body down beside Bonnie's.

**Yo: **Bonnie's witchy incantation was recited in Latin. It means something like "By the power of Greyskull, I order you to move, you filthy dirt, you!" _(Steph's comedic genius strikes again!)_

Ok, it doesn't really say that but you get the idea. :D

**Yo-yo: **Looks like Glinda could actually pull off something like this after Thursday's episode! Despite the lack of Delena, I still loved it. The conversation between my mom and I while watching "Know Thy Enemy" went something like this:

****Mild TVD Spoiler Anecdote Alert****

_**Me (as John tumbles down the stairs):**__ "YES! Oh please let that douchenozzle be finally dead!"_

_**Mom (casually eating a fat free dessert):**__ "No way. He has that ring thing, doesn't he?"_

_**Me (giggling as John is declared dead):**__ "Woohoo! No, see? He's dead! Thank god. I hated that dickweed!"_

_**Mom (shaking her head):**__ "Nope. He's going to wake up. Damon just looked at his hand."_

_**Me (shaking **_**my**_** head):**__ "No, he was checking his pulse!"_

_**Mom (watching Damon tell Sheriff Forbes that John is going to come back to life):**__ "Told you."_

_**Me (kicking coffee table, swearing, and rubbing my toe):**__ "Ugh! Why did I get you into this show again?"_

_**Mom (smiling while daintily setting her plate on a side table):**__ "I don't know sweetie, but it's too late to undo it now." _

_**Me:**__ *grumbles* _

_**Mom (rewinds the last few seconds and glares at me):**__ "Shhh! I can't hear what's going on when you complain!"_

_**Me (five minutes later as Damon washes his hands and pulls off his shirt):**__ "Oooo he's going to find out that the moonstone isn't in the soap dish!"_

_**Mom (staring at me like I've lost my mind):**__ "Why on earth are you looking at the soap dish?" _

*rubs temples* I've created a monster…

Huggles to min bedårande mamma och härlig syster-beffers and, as always, my lovely readers. ;)

Until next time :K


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